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a warning

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
um, ok so i realise this isn't going to be relevant to many, but i guess it's the most candid portrayal of how serious eating disorders can become, so if you're worried about anyone then do try to help them. might make difficult reading.
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Prufrockian perfection

Drink more water. Eat more fruit and veg. Exercise. Cut down on salt. Cut down on fat. Cut down on sugar. Cut out sugar. Cut out carbs. Exercise more. Fat is evil. Bones are good. Stop eating protein. Stop eating. Exercise more! To lose weight. You must stop eating. To lose weight you must stop eating. to lose weight you must stop eating. Toulouse weight yewmustop eating. toulousweight yewmustopeating. toulousweight yewmustopeating toulousweight yewmustopeating toulousweightyewmustopeating. Must. Stop. Eating.

At first it is an idle thought she entertains in her head and maybe tosses among close friends in trivial conversations. Just a few pounds, that’s all. Promise. But she’s so skinny, her friends tell her. You don’t need to lose weight. But need is different from want. Surely she needs no reason, as losing weight is so justifiable, so virtuous, so honourable. Looking better, feeling better, eating better are mere side effects. She will be better. She’ll make them proud, she decides, not jealous. She’s independent. It is her own little project. She is strong when they offer cakes and chocolate. She politely declines, not realising she is throwing love back in their faces. Of course, she desperately wants to say yes. Of course, in a couple of months she will be in dire need of that love. In half a dozen more, she will be beyond repair, a damaged , empty shell whose old inhabitant has long since moved on. Others will abandon her when they realise she left them. But for now she says no and is happily in control. Why should anyone be worried when she looks so normal, so healthy? And anyway, it’s just a few pounds, she’ll stop when it’s done. Go back to normal. Easy. But for now, normal is seeing how little food can pass her lips in one day. How long she can run without stopping in the freezing December rain, whilst her legs are red raw, numb with the cold and burning with lactic acid. But she is not perfect. There are days where control is relinquished. She is disgusted, yet simultaneously a tiny part of her is amazed at her body’s ability to stretch the stomach beyond any sensible capacity, her body's needs and bossy temper tantrums after practising mind over matter so faultlessly. In these moments of weakness, her body’s voice cries out like a spoilt toddler, screaming for the forbidden fruits. Moderation is forgotten, as is fat content and calories. Thirst is inevitable, as vast amounts are consumed as quickly as possible. But balance is not restored; the pendulum gains momentum. Not to worry. It’s only a few pounds. Some binges just require a quick visit to the toilet, with a toothbrush for throat tickling. These are never completely successful, and probably should draw to a close when blood swirls in the sink, but it’s the thought that counts, and she feels a little happier afterwards – a sigh of relief; that’s better. Better. With hindsight, this is the problem. Eating less equates to improvement. But the better she gets, the less she can improve. And more troubling – the further it is to fall. To eat would be to take a step back. She thinks they are jealous of her; she is wrong. They are jealous of the weight she has lost. It will not be long before she is jealous of them, knowing when to stop, knowing how to stop, being able to ‘take it or leave it’. She may never know satiation again. Food will destroy her – but of course, it is not the food. For she is destroying herself. And after ‘leaving it’ for so long, there is nothing she can do to stop ‘taking it’. The pendulum swings higher as she gorges, binges, eats until she is sweating, eats until she is sick, eats until she is nearing unconsciousness. And it is eating in its loosest sense. Ironic, really, for she hasn’t been truly conscious for a long while. She has surrendered to the weight loss daemon, the cloud enveloping her life, the shadow of death infiltrating her mind.

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    erm, yes very good but what was the point of all that?

    welcome btw..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    could you paragraph next time please? it was a little difficult to read.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Drink more water. Eat more fruit and veg. Exercise. Cut down on salt. Cut down on fat. Cut down on sugar. Cut out sugar. Cut out carbs. Exercise more. Fat is evil. Bones are good. Stop eating protein. Stop eating. Exercise more! To lose weight. You must stop eating. To lose weight you must stop eating. to lose weight you must stop eating. Toulouse weight yewmustop eating. toulousweight yewmustopeating. toulousweight yewmustopeating toulousweight yewmustopeating toulousweightyewmustopeating. Must. Stop. Eating.


    this bit is ironic but the is a lesson and its important
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want to post some advice for someone, it's best to put it into some context. The way these boards generally work is that the first post is a question from someone and then the following posts answer/offer advice. It's hard to tell the point of this post - and where you got the original quote from. If it was from another thread then I'd suggest posting there rather than starting another thread.

    In terms of the advice you give, it's abit extreme. Yes, eating more fruit and veg and excercising are beneficial ways to get healthier and lose weight, but stopping eating altogether is NEVER a good idea. I'd suggest taking a look at some of the following articles from the health and wellbeing section here on TheSite, for a healthy, balanced approach to eating:

    A balanced diet

    Getting fit

    Training and diet

    If you're concerned about your - or anyone else's - eating patterns, you may find it useful to contact Beat, which offers advice and support to anyone worried about eating disorders.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey

    It seems to me that you have posted this as a rant rather than a question, ut it sounds like whoever you wrote it about is going through some real tough sh**te right now w regards to eating disorders. Have they been to a GP? or cousellor or someone??
    You have written it beautifully, it really gives an insight into how you or whoever youve wroteit about must be feeling.I have a close friend who is a chronic anorexic and gets hospitalized on a regular basis, so I know the hurt and worry that those around you will be feeling. You feel so helpless, although it cant be as harrowing for those surrounding it as those experiencing it directly.

    Please get some help. If you cant bring yourself to do it for you, please try and do it for those that love you.

    Good luck.xx
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