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Out of order?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My friend and I decided to go on holiday ages ago. My part of the deal was to book the accomodation, which I did a couple of months ago and his half was to book the flights. I asked him to book them months ago when they're cheaper (we're going next month), but he ignored me and hasn't even though he has the money. Now the flights have almost doubled in price because its closer to the date, and he still hasn't booked them :mad:
He definitly wants to go, it's nothing like that, but I'm so pissed off because I have to pay him back half of the flights, and I budgetted it being £89 and now they've rocketed to £160!! Which I can't really afford, and is such a waste of money through laziness.
Is it out of order to demand that I only pay him back the original £89? (how much the flight costed when I first asked him to book them). Because as a poor student I can't really afford £160! He's not the gentlemanly type, so he won't take to this, but am I am in the right? Or should I just pay up.
He definitly wants to go, it's nothing like that, but I'm so pissed off because I have to pay him back half of the flights, and I budgetted it being £89 and now they've rocketed to £160!! Which I can't really afford, and is such a waste of money through laziness.
Is it out of order to demand that I only pay him back the original £89? (how much the flight costed when I first asked him to book them). Because as a poor student I can't really afford £160! He's not the gentlemanly type, so he won't take to this, but am I am in the right? Or should I just pay up.
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If he is that ungentlemanly, its up to you how you feel your friendship will progress. Personally, he seems a twat.
Depends how you want to look at it.
Theres nothing you can do other than suggest that you only pay the initial fee really. But i think you have every reason to be annoyed!
Is there any good reason why he has put it off? Perhaps family problems that you're unaware of? I only mention that because while that doesn't make it suddenly okay, it'll make you feel pretty shit if you have a blazing row with him and find out that his sister has been really ill or something...
I'd be tempted to drop something light hearted in to make up for it, while you may not be reimbused the full amount, at least get a little something back like - "Well considering what a lazy b******d you've been about booking them, You're soooo paying for the taxis to the airport, or im going to tell every girl you chat up out there that you've got herpes
I know I'll end up owing him the money, because I really can't afford to pay him back before we go. Which I don't like doing, but he's left me no choice!
Hmm, I might drop a bit of light-heartedness in when we're ou there, when I'm no so mad at him :mad:
Yea that's how I feel about him at the moment! But I really want to go on this holiday, it's just such a shame he's not being cooperative and casting a bit of a negative mood on it.
Not nagging at all, but there is an important lesson to be learnt here about any shared trips, you can't trust anyone to do anything and you need to check and check and check until it's done. If you ever do anything like this again a good solution is to get together one night, sit down and book the lot with both of you sitting there, that way you know it's done.
What a pain in the arse. Ruined your holiday.
Close. This is the one where he was dragging his feet about booking the flights (and still is), which I asked if it was because he didn't want to go, but he assured me he definitly did want to go, and to go with me, and that he just 'hadn't got round to it'.
And yes, we booked it when we were both single and now he has a girlfriend. But that doesn't really affect much, as I wouldn't have planned to be anything more than friends even if we were both single.
He is a pain in the arse. But I can't cancel the holiday, I really really want to go. Just not really with him, but it's too late now, so i guess will just have to make the best of it, and not feel too frustrated at him :mad:
Why couldn't you have booked the flights before now if he hadn't bothered, then got the money from him? It seems a bit silly that it's now at the stage where the prices have doubled and no flights been booked. Surely if you're friendly enough to go on holiday together you're friendly enough to have said to him seriously by now your concerns and to do it.
I think if cancelling the holiday isn't an option then you're left with two choices, either confront him straight up, state your concerns and your disappointments with him.
Pros: Could be the kick up the arse he needs, he gets everything sorted, apologises and some sort of agreement is come to about him paying the extra, or part of the extra - If he's earning enough to piss that sort of money up the wall he may not see it has a big deal and even be fine with paying some/the extra?
Cons: Blazing row, he refuses to pay the extra, nothing positive comes off it, the holiday either gets cancelled, you spend the time there argueing or tip toeing around each other? - Or varying levels of bad feeling setting in between you?
You bite your tongue and take nothing more than a learning experience from the whole thing.
Pros: You're friendship stays intact, you get out there on holiday and as difficult as it may seem if you can put this experience out of your mind you'll probably have the fantastic holiday that you expected!
Cons: You're a fair bit of money down that you could have spent better else where. You're left disappointed that your mate has let you down and doesn't seem to care?
I think at least with the second option you're more in control of the situation, and while your out there as suggested previously you could drop plenty of hints and use your feminine charm to make him feel a tiny bit guilty, or erm... responsible to buy you plenty of drinks, the taxis, and a nice little present out there to make up for the cock up he's made - To what extent you take this to again, you're in control of.
Whatever you decide to do, when your out there, as frustrated as you may be, just let it go over your head and have a damn good time or else it won't be that extra £80 you've wasted it'll be the entire cost of the trip, decide what you're going to do and then when you're out there, have a fantastic time!!
That would be my first thought. She may not like the idea of you 2 going on holiday together. And if they're now in a serious relationship perhaps they want to go on holiday with each other.
I think if he really wanted to go then he would have booked the flights by now, unless he really is that lazy. I think you need a good talk with him and find out if he still wants to go. And as Sugar said, if you're good enough friends to go on holiday with each other then you should be able to talk to him about this.
Sounds like they've already had that conversation
I'm just a cynic and think he hasn't really told her whats going on. Boys can be a bit like that!
Hey, just trying to improve these boards for everybody...
Nah, true is I'm after Jims job, and to be honest I think i'm perfectly suited to it, i've ample experience at sitting around 9-5 drinking tea and giving out the occasional sigh.
Then for the night shift, again, perfectly suited, plenty of practise at downloading obscene quantities of pornographic material whilst browsing this thing waiting for them to finish
All I need to do is pedantically correct the odd post here and there and I’ll soon be sitting next to the delightful *Helen*
We cancleled it in the end and went camping and had a really really good time
I'm still pissed off that I will have to pay extra for his laziness. I now owe him about £80, but he'll just have to wait until after the holiday for it! And then I may just take my time paying him back, I doubt he'll miss it.
Cheers for the response guys. About the girlfriend thing, I did ask him a while ago if he was definitly still alright going with me and he said he was looking forward to it and couldn't wait to go etc. I didn't asked specifically about her, but I presume it's not a problem otherwise he would have said.
I'm just happy that at least it's finally sorted, and I think I'll just appeal to his conscience when we're out there. If he has much of one :yeees:
All the same, yay! I'm going on holiday!
Thanks for this, I think you're right they're my only two choices, and I think to enjoy the holiday and make it worth it's expense it's going to have to be the second one.
I suggest you take as much time paying the £80 back as he did booking the flights...
This did cross my mind :chin: I feel bad because it's not something I'd ever normally do because I like to keep things straight with people, but it's his fault that we paid extra! So, I'm considering just forgetting about the bit I owe him...Unless he nags me for it, like I nagged him for the flights!