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Do you treat your friends differently...

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?
    I find alot of my female friends attractive and I've always wondered whether sleeping with a couple of them would ruin our friendships or strengthen them.

    it ruins it - totally.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    I think its different when you are both up for a laugh. Its when you both get wasted and end up in bed and then regret it in the morning when the problems start. Especially if he fancies u but you don't feel the same.

    Yeah, I guess... but you'd have to be wasted for it to happen because even if I knew my friend liked me back, I wouldn't just suggest having sex with her randomly if I was sober lol, and I'm not sure how well she'd take it if she was sober either, even if she wanted it to happen too, but because she'd think that I don't actually like her for her friendship.

    If you get me?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I don't have any female friends, but I do have some "pals". I don't think I treat them any differently.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...depending on whether they're male or female?

    a simple answer for me is :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?

    If they're a really good friend and you both understand each other completely then it's fine (for me anyway). I've got a friend who every time I see (not as often as I'd like atm) we sleep together and are all coupley - we don't really arrange to shag but it always just sort of happens. We're not together because it's not practical for either of us at this point in our lives, but somehow it isn't awkward and we're fine about it because there's a lot of mutual respect there. It's not like a fuck buddy when you just fuck for the sake of fucking cause we love each other to bits, but it's not an orthodox relationship either.

    It's always a risk though, but you're always always always better not taking the risk if you think it'd fuck up your friendship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Do no other girls talk to their girl mates about sex and toys and things?

    God, no. I mean, we talk about it in a round-about way (such as "I was this age when i lost my virginity" etc) but could never talk about it intimately with them. And it would just be too shameful to talk about toys or anything with them... we're all good girls who wouldn't dream of using such objects as vibrators :angel: :p
    Male friends though, definitely, they seem much more accepting of the whole toys aspect ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    See I see talking about sex with a guy as flirting or turning them on or something - unless they're specifically asking for advice which is quite different.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    See I see talking about sex with a guy as flirting or turning them on or something - unless they're specifically asking for advice which is quite different.

    I wouldn't take it that way...unless they were talking about sex with me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    See I see talking about sex with a guy as flirting or turning them on or something - unless they're specifically asking for advice which is quite different.

    Hmm. I don't talk about it with all my male friends. Just the ones I'm close to and the ones I'm secure about my friendship with. If i talked about it with a guy i fancied, then yeah, I'd probably be flirting with him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?

    See previous post, the answer is yes I have.

    This person is now my closest confidant and there are things which she knows about me which I would never be able to tell Mrs MoK about. TBH I don't think that either of our partner would ever understand how close we really are.
    I find alot of my female friends attractive and I've always wondered whether sleeping with a couple of them would ruin our friendships or strengthen them.

    It's fine assuming atht you both know the rules going in. If it's all about sex then you should both work on that basis and try not to let emotions get involved unless you are both happt with that. Otherwise you lose a friend, simple as.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I slept with a close female mate of about 3 years last year. Worst mistake of mylife, it turned her into a complete bunny boiler - no longer speak.

    I buy my close friends male/female presants at bdays/xmas etc.

    TBH,i do treat my male friends differently to my female ones. I'm normally a lot more reliable to my male mates.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't really have any male friends. I did, but they all seemed to come on to me or confess that they were secretly in love with me which put me off. I was friends with lots of my exes friends, but as we're no longer together it would be a bit strange to still be friends with them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think i would be far more likely to discuss sex stuff with blokes than another girl - though TBH as my best friend is also my sister in law I think it would be a bit weird talking to her about having sex with her brother.

    I have some male friends who if i wern't married it would be OK to sleep with and not ruin our relationship and others who it totally would. But I have no intention of sleeping with any of them at any point so i guess thats a bit hypothetical
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seems to me that sleeping with a friend only ruins the friendship if you're not on the same page (like any other relationship I guess). If you're both after a casual thing, it seems to work out, and if you both have feelings for each other, you get together properly. It's only if one has feelings and the other sees it as something casual that you get a problem?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the main differences between my girl mates and my boy mates are i bitch alot more when im with other girls and not so much with boys

    i would say i get along with boys just as well as girls but i usually end up getting with my really close lad mates or they tell me they like me and then the friendship is ruined

    im a girly girl but i like having a laugh with the boys too i guess
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    I slept with a close female mate of about 3 years last year. Worst mistake of mylife, it turned her into a complete bunny boiler - no longer speak.

    This happened to me with one of my best [male] friends.

    Obviously I could've prevented all the drama by simply saying no to the suggestion of going back to his to drink a bottle of tequila when we'd already been out on a session and a half, but sometimes you've got to scratch an itch. I knew immediately on waking up the next morning when he tried to... :nervous:... snuggle that it was going to shoot squarely to the top of my list of regrets and stay there. Cue about a year of embarrassing displays and hysterical crying when we were out with mutual friends - even after I got back together with my ex who was one of his mates - and eventually a massive fall-out. He still enjoys talking cod shit about me all over town but... meh, who cares.

    I have slept with other friends and it's had no adverse effects but we always knew the craic and that it was just about having a bit of fun. It was also generally under the influence of drugs rather than drink. My decisions and rational thinking have always been better when illegally intoxicated, funnily enough :D The amount of bad sex decisions I have made when pissed out of my tree are innumerable and embarrassing!

    As for friends, I buy the really close ones gifts whether they're male or female. It's a bit different for men I think, my boyfriend wouldn't buy his male friends birthday/Christmas pressies but he'd probably get the female ones a bottle of wine or some flowers. The only blokes he gets presents for are his brothers, really.

    Generally I enjoy spending time with men, more. My best female friends are the best in the world but for going down the pub, hitch-hiking to the Lake District, going on random magical mystery tours then it's blokes all the way. They're just a bit... easier (?) :razz:
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