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Do you treat your friends differently...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...depending on whether they're male or female? I just bought a friend of mine a birthday present, and I realised that I buy birthday presents for all my (best) female friends, but none of my male friends. Most of my male friends can't be arsed with things like birthday cards, they'd rather just have a drink, but I reckon in general girls care about this sort of thing more. Anyone else do this?

And what other ways do you treat your male and female friends differently?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean about presents, I'm the same a lot of the time.

    I don't ring my male mates up just for a chat like I do with by ladybuds. I also don't tend to pull my female friends when I've had a few :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can talk openly about sex and past experiences etc to my female friends but not to my male friends. It would just feel wrong.

    Also I tend to let male friends do things for me like if we're in a club he can hold my bottle of water but I'd never ask a girl to do that. lol

    Also I go to the toilet in front of my girl mates but never a guy friend!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's because, let's face it, most of the time us guys wouldn't mind getting into bed with alot of our female friends. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont buy any of my friends birthday or christmas presents usually, and then feel surprised/bad if they do it for me.
    I just never think of it, even if i know its their birthday. Presents are usually a family thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, not by sex.

    Presents are a family thing, but if I like you enough, you become part of "familly".

    If I fancy the socks off you, I may be more generous with what I buy you...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gotta say though, I hate buying presents for my family and love buying them for my friends. Partly because friends don't necessarily expect it, but mainly because I actually know what my mates are into.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont buy presents for any of my friends, male or female .. only person who would get a present is the gf or family

    in saying that id happily throw a few e's or pints in someones direction if it was their birthday (id do it if they were skint too tho)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kind of.

    I have more bloke pals than girl ones because I can chat to them more about sex than I can with girls, it's odd. They can chat to me about sex more than they can with their pals, too.

    However, I don't really tell people my big problems unless I can deal with it myself firstly. If I'm feeling like I can't particularly cope then if I begin to chat about it to anyone I get really upset and can't breathe. Then I get incredibly embaressed for offloading, and for revealing I'm more vulnerable than I let on.

    Present wise, I tend to buy my blokey mates presents with more thought than I get the girls. The girls we end up having a trashy night in a club and get absolutely disgusting with the amount of drinks I spend. I spend whatever age they are on booze just for them. Hahaha, I'm such a crap friend. Their livers must hate me.

    Blokes for presents, I get them shit things from the pound shop and a few pills, really. Last bloke I got him a bubble gun which was shaped like a duck and a white mask he could paint a design on and I got him 2 pills.

    This is a really unstructured - but chuffing honest might I add - answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote: »
    I spend whatever age they are on booze just for them.

    That''ll be lethal by the time you reach 70.

    Oh, and I can chat more about sex with members of the opposite sex too. Seriously at least.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I but loads of my girl mates birthday presents coz I like to get lots back on my bday :D And I like buying pressies too ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That''ll be lethal by the time you reach 70.

    My oldest girly pal is 26, and by the time 16quidsworth of booze is down her neck she's away home. :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and I can chat more about sex with members of the opposite sex too. Seriously at least.

    I can't at all. My male friends have asked me about what I've got up to with sucha person and I get all embarrassed! Yet me and my girl mates have open discussions about masturbating and sex toys etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    z- wrote: »
    i dont buy presents for any of my friends, male or female .. only person who would get a present is the gf or family

    :yes:

    I don't really treat them any different, there are things I'd talk about to my male friends more than my female friends and vice versa but it's not like I change my personality. I know so many people who are all nice to girls but different to fellas, I'd tell my female mates to shut the fuck up if it was merited and not think twice like lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    I but loads of my girl mates birthday presents coz I like to get lots back on my bday :DAnd I like buying pressies too ;)

    Yeah, I'm convinced girls only buy presents for everyone because it's an excuse to go shopping, and maybe pick something up for yourself while you're at it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I buy my female friends birthday presents but not bloke friends. Don't know why really!

    I tend to be more open with blokes though. Probably because I hate the bitchiness of girls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I do.

    My closest three friends are all male, I think because I can't handle the emotional side of close friendship with women.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And what other ways do you treat your male and female friends differently?

    Well, for a start I've never had sex with any of my male friends...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dunno if I treat them differently, but my relationship with them is different.

    I'm quite laddish when I'm with my boy mates. Some of the nights out have been absolutely legendary and we can have each other in stitches by putting on funny accents and saying stuff (our favourite at the minute is an old Yorkshire man moaning about his pie "AS IT GOT GRAAAAVY ON IT?" - it's funnier than it sounds here) and all the rest of it. There's possibly a bit more fear about being myself 100% when I'm with them, because boys tend to like boys who like premium lager and perving on girls boobs and while I'm quite laddy I'm not really laddy to that extent y'know?

    I'm good at laughing at myself with them (just as well when you're a 23 year old Aberdonian who likes Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals) but I know if I let myself go completely in their company then it'd be non stop banter t me all night which isn't always that much fun if it is literally all night. Emotionally I do hold back because if I've had a problem with a girl their reaction is just to get me pissed, even though I know that'll literally end in tears.

    With my girl mates it's totally different and I feel I can relax quite a bit more in their company. I'm very close to a couple of girls, and that I can talk (or bitch ;)) to them about literally anything and vice versa. I think the softer side of my personality comes out a lot more too, cause I think girls are more accepting of people being who they are. Plus they tend to be more complimentary about me than boys do, haha. Quite a lot of them have said I'm like a wee brother they want to look after which is quite reassuring, but then I've maybe one really close girl mate that I've been "with" on and off a bit with but that bond (be it friendship or anything else) is something that I'll cherish for a long time to come because she knows me and I know her and it's cool as fuck when that happens.

    And that's the end of that ramble.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont buy any of my friends birthday or christmas presents usually, and then feel surprised/bad if they do it for me.
    I just never think of it, even if i know its their birthday. Presents are usually a family thing.

    :yes: I'm the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and I can chat more about sex with members of the opposite sex too. Seriously at least.

    Yeah, me too. Rarely talk about sex with female friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do no other girls talk to their girl mates about sex and toys and things?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm generally a lot closer to my male then my female friends. In fact my closest three friends are male. I can talk about my feelings and certain subjects such as sex a lot more openly with them as well. I get on with women but I tend to tire of the bitchy two faced ones very quickly. The few I get on really well with are all great though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Do no other girls talk to their girl mates about sex and toys and things?

    Oh God, yes! But I go into it with more depth with lads, my girlie mates I natter to it's a brief chat.

    I reckon it's only because we've never really crossed that line of going into intricate details of having your wrists pinned down, being plunged away and similar details, know? My girlie mates have chats about where we've shagged, how many, who etc but not technique or owt like that.

    I've not got any desire to do so, nor have they since obviously we must all have other outlets to talk about it. Like I said, I go into more depth with my gay boyfriend and a few other lads I know. They seem to like the filth and are equally full of advice, ha.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?
    I find alot of my female friends attractive and I've always wondered whether sleeping with a couple of them would ruin our friendships or strengthen them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?
    I find alot of my female friends attractive and I've always wondered whether sleeping with a couple of them would ruin our friendships or strengthen them.

    I had a 'fumble' with my really good mate. I am SO gutted because he had the best banter in this side of Glasgow, and he always made me laugh so chuffing much.

    But alas, since the 'fumble' I can't look at him in the same way or even think about said 'fumble' without doing a Homer Simpson shudder. YOU ALL KNOW THE ONE! :razz:

    I miss him lots sometimes, but it'd be too weird for us to go back to being mates I'm nowhere near ready to shake off that 'weird' feeling just yet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    Anyone ever slept with their good friend? If so, how did it affect your friendship?
    I find alot of my female friends attractive and I've always wondered whether sleeping with a couple of them would ruin our friendships or strengthen them.

    Well I slept with one close male mate and we never really spoke again. All of my male mates have tried it on or asked me out at some point and even though it hasn't bothered me it has bothered them and our friendship obviously wasn't as strong as I thought..:( Only one has never tried anything (apart from when we were 16 and had a snog but that doesn't count) although he was looking at me an awful lot on Saturday night but maybe that was the pills coz we were hugging alot and he kept massaging me..lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did when I was younger. It was super weird for about a month, then we just got the hell over ourselves and got on with life, but kept sleeping together. In the end I guess I liked him in a more than friends way and just settled for screwing him and being best mates as we weren't ever going to get together properly. Then I had to pretend I was cool when he got a girlfriend. We just fell out of touch, but it was fine for 3 years or so.

    I still think about him now :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    These were the responses I was afraid of... lol.
    I wish it wouldn't be like that, I wouldn't be able to keep sleeping with a friend because then I'd start getting attached and that would ruin a friendship.
    But I don't see why one shag would matter if we're both good friends who are just up for a laugh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    These were the responses I was afraid of... lol.
    I wish it wouldn't be like that, I wouldn't be able to keep sleeping with a friend because then I'd start getting attached and that would ruin a friendship.
    But I don't see why one shag would matter if we're both good friends who are just up for a laugh?

    I think its different when you are both up for a laugh. Its when you both get wasted and end up in bed and then regret it in the morning when the problems start. Especially if he fancies u but you don't feel the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Do no other girls talk to their girl mates about sex and toys and things?

    I do. I wouldnt talk to male friends about sex in any detail. Unless i was tying to flirt with them on purpose, which i wouldnt.
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