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suicidal friend.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a close friend I know from my time in a psychiatric unit. She's very unwell, and has confided detailed plans of a suicide attempt. I know from experience, that talking about suicide, in most cases, leads to an attempt. She has a history of suicide attepts, self harm and anorexia, so I'm really worried. She told be on the condition that I wouldn't tell anyone, and I don't want to betray her, but I really feel like she's a danger to herself. Any ideas about what I should do?
Cheers.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she's told you because she wants to be stopped.

    Of course, your betrayal will prove she has no real friends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd tell whoever is caring for her.

    If she hates you then that's her loss but i think if i was her that eventually i would realise that you was a true friend and cared about me. She'd thank you in time.

    Either way whatever you do the regret you would feel if she killed herself will be with you forever because you would know that if you had told someone she could still be here today.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey, this must be really tough and the main thing to realise is that you don't have to take your friends situation on by yourself.
    There's a question relating to a very similar issue in the askTheSite Q&A archive. There's lots of useful advice which you can find here.

    Take good care x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dreamy_me wrote: »
    I have a close friend I know from my time in a psychiatric unit. She's very unwell, and has confided detailed plans of a suicide attempt. I know from experience, that talking about suicide, in most cases, leads to an attempt. She has a history of suicide attepts, self harm and anorexia, so I'm really worried. She told be on the condition that I wouldn't tell anyone, and I don't want to betray her, but I really feel like she's a danger to herself. Any ideas about what I should do?
    Cheers.
    Firstly, I've had a few drinks tonight, so many apologies if this makes little sense. But here goes. This is the classic dilemma of: do you 'betray' someone, acting in their best interests, or do you stay quiet about it? I've experienced it before. In each case, I stayed quiet, and it seemed to work okay. But think about this one...

    Someone was in the same situation a few years ago when I was that suicidal person. I wrote up these huge plans, with diagrams, on how I was going to kill myself. Of course, some of the plans were so ludicrous they'd never have worked, but never mind. I showed them to someone, who was worried. They later went to speak to my GP. Apparently, he said this was very worrying, but unless I went in myself, he could do nothing. And that's one thing I'm saying - even if you tried to get help, it may not be enough. Often the person has to do the 'seeking out' themselves.

    I'm sorry if this makes no sense, I'm just tipsy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a friend who told me he was going to kill himself, a couple of months later he did.

    I regret not doing something to prevent it.

    It could just be a cry for attention, but ofcourse there is a possibility they could be being serious.

    Still, just do your best to be there.

    But really, if someone actualyl wants to die, let them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jonny8888 wrote: »
    But really, if someone actualyl wants to die, let them.
    Now I can't agree with that. This person is probably a young person with lots of life ahead of them. They may think they want to die, but is that really the best thing to do? What a waste of a life it would be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no ofcourse not. But if you state that the to the person, you talk about it deeply with them and they are certain they want to die then what more can you do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jonny8888 wrote: »
    But really, if someone actualyl wants to die, let them.

    Why?

    I would personally tell someone so that you friend can get the help they need - even if they ask you not too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I read this yesterday
    If someone had smiled and said, ‘Are you okay?’ I know I would have begged them to help me. I would have told them everything and asked for help. I would not have jumped. I just was unable to ask for help myself

    Jonny8888, the thing is, lots of people who survived a near fatal attempt, regretted what they did

    from the article above
    He jumped. On the way down, he changed his mind. He remembered thinking, "I want to live. Why am I doing this?"

    so dreamy_me, keep talking to your friend, show you care, BUT, do follow **Helen**'s and others advice, you do not have to deal with this on your own

    take care
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would give her the number of the samaritans who could talk t her without pressurising her either way. Its going to be hard for you to not pressurise her when you talk to her because youre so emotionally invested in it.
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