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Fancy another update?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, just looked through my old posts and realised I haven't posted in a while, so thought I might as well do a bit of an update - not that anyone's interested! hehe :)

Ok so I'm 21 weeks pregnant now,, found out last week the baby's a boy so he's going to be called Ellis Jack. He's kicking well and is very well developed for his age, apparently :)

The Phil thing is still kind of going on...we didn't see each other for a while and then started chatting/metting up as friends, he said he loved me and wanted to get back together and then changed his mind suddenly a couple of days later (both times over me coming downstairs at midnight when he came home from work and getting in a strop about something stupid - the noise he was making or whatever).
The stupid thing was, both times I fell for it so was understandably a bit gutted/confused when he suddenly 'lost' his feelings again so quickly.

I stayed at his place for 4 weeks as I didn't have anywhere else to go (literally - couldn't even get into a hostel!) and that's when the getting back together/changing his mind thing happened - then a week after the second time he said he wanted to try again, his mum got me arrested on suspicion of breaking and entering and harassment!
He was at work at the time and because he hadn't told his family (or anyone) that I was staying there - or even that he'd seen or spoken to me - she thought I'd broken into his house and called the police.
Ended up in a cell for 22 hours because Phil decided not to come clean, but to carry on with the harassment story I later found out he'd been feeding everyone over the past 2 weeks (telling them I kept turning up on his bus, refused to get off when he asked me to etc., when fair enough I did go and see him quite a bit but he always asked me to stand by him and chat to him, and had asked me to stay at his house - even said he didn't want me to leave when I offered to!) and made a 7-page statement detailing the entire relationship, saying I was violent towards him (but not mentioning his violence) and even said I'd admitted to copying his keys and using them to get into his house! For the record, I didn't admit to it because I'd never do something like that!

I wasn't charged or anything like that, and since Monday I've been staying with Phil again. He offered because my mum's not speaking to me, neither is my dad (loooong story...) and he's literally my only option for somewhere to sleep at the moment.
On Monday evening he came home from the pub a bit tipsy, and said "I do care about you loads" and "I love you more than anything, but I don't want to be with you". He came out with all that randomly (I hadn't said anything to him) and it left me confused and wondering whether he meant it when he said he cared - but I asked him today and he said he didn't remember what he said; then when I reminded him about the "I do care" bit, he pulled a face and asked if he'd been pissed at the time. Lovely guy.

I do still have feelings for him, but I see what a loser he is - he's completely under his mum's thumb (she's not speaking to him at the moment, because she found out I was staying at Phil's again - sounds vindictive but at least he's having to live independantly for a bit...and it serves him right for trying to hide things from his family all the time)

He occasionally comes out with nice stuff or acts sweetly - like last night we were in bed (don't judge me...) and the baby started kicking. He put his hand on my tummy and felt the baby kick (first time he's felt it), then had a bit of a 'moment'. Lol - but the majority of the time he's rude, ignorant, talks to me like dirt and blames me/starts telling me to get out of his life over every little misunderstanding and cross word. He loves playing the victim and it's getting sooo old....

On the plus side, my new flat will be ready to move into arouond the middle of next week. Went to see it again today and it's lovely - it was only built two months ago and has a really nice kitchen and bathroom...I love it and can't wait to move in! It's about a 30 minute walk from Phil's but I'm not planning on going anywhere near his house, plus he's said he'll be moving to a town nearer work fairly soon - then I'll only have his family to deal with (one of them called me a nutter in the street yesterday! freaks).

So yeah...that's about it. Feeling much more positive and sorted about the baby now, which is the most important thing :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad things are looking up. It doesn't sound like you and Phil have much of a future at the moment. Fingers crossed that when you get your new flat you get more independance and can sort things out for you and the baby and then you'll no longer need him or his family in your life which should make things easier for you.

    All the best.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope...well I still have the occasional moment of hoping he'll realise he does love me after all, but I'm seeing the bad side of him more and more - and his family are just horrible...there's so many of them too, so it's hard to avoid them!

    Looking forward to the baby and moving into the flat though, so that's the main thing that matters at the moment.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Sorry, but I'll be deadly blunt here:
    How more stupid can you get? He practically had you arrested! If someone did that to me, or any other sane person (I imagine!) I'd want to bash his skull, no matter why.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh don't worry, I know he's a dick. The fact he went along with it to avoid having to come clean to his mother is unbelievable. I know that :)
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    alasia wrote: »
    Oh don't worry, I know he's a dick. The fact he went along with it to avoid having to come clean to his mother is unbelievable. I know that :)
    It didn't seem like you were right away. Sorry if I misunderstood that. I hope you do know that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's ok I understand :)

    I'm one of those people that tries to see the best in everyone, so that side of me still cares about him but he hasnt got that much of a good side, to be honest!

    He is an idiot. IMO.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    31.jpg
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote: »
    31.jpg

    :chin: :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote: »
    (one of them called me a nutter in the street yesterday! freaks).

    nothing wrong with that, in this case...
    One day I'm going to get an ulcer from reading your stories, the only reason I regret coming to that site.

    hopefully everything turns out best for the baby, tho.
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