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Anti Rape Condom

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote: »
    No woman, or indeed man, should have any responsibility put on them for walking down a dark road, being alone, dressing how they want or even a bit tipsy and then being raped. But common sense should dictate that you make yourself as safe as is possible, though as Katchika points out that's not always possible.

    i feel like i've highlighted an important word in your post

    of course we SHOULD be able to do what we want, where we want, wearing what we want.... but the reality is that it just sometimes it just ISN'T safe to do so anymore

    we should be able to leave our backdoors open like in the good old days, but times change which requires the need for a change in our actions

    of course it's not our responsibility NOT to get raped, but it is our responsibility to keep ourselves as safe as possible, when possible
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talia wrote: »
    Yes there are things to do to make yourself safer, but a woman should not be held accountable if she does not fulfill all of these. It is the rapist who is in the wrong! Just because a woman takes a risk by walking down a dark street at night does not mean that it is more her fault if someone rapes her!

    no one, anywhere has said anything of the sort
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote: »
    i feel like i've highlighted an important word in your post

    of course we SHOULD be able to do what we want, where we want, wearing what we want.... but the reality is that it just sometimes it just ISN'T safe to do so anymore

    we should be able to leave our backdoors open like in the good old days, but times change which requires the need for a change in our actions

    of course it's not our responsibility NOT to get raped, but it is our responsibility to keep ourselves as safe as possible, when possible
    This is what I've been saying as well, so needless to say I agree with you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, Littleali I totally agree. The land of "should" is pretty estranged from the land of reality in terms of rape. No one's short skirt, detour down a back alley or venture into a bad part of town makes them culpable - in terms of ANY crime, in my opinion. To be honest in terms of the country we're talking about I'm pretty sure the majority of women already take most of those precautionary measures. It's obviously worlds apart from our own experience of shady areas and dodgy looking loiterers.

    It's definitely a different story talking about walking down the street in Exampleville, UK and doing the same thing in South Africa (and many other parts of Africa, and many other parts of the world). There are absolute reams of statistics that back up assertions that in the UK (and elsewhere) many, many rapes happen in situations other than the typically-imagined scenario of stranger lurking in the bushes or down a back alley... but it doesn't mean that those cases don't occur or that they aren't worth attempting to solve. Of course we have to look at rape within the family, within relationships, within trusted walls etc. But women still get raped at knifepoint in this country and by big scary guys who follow them home and by licensed taxi drivers. They still get raped when they "just say no" and we have to look at that, too. This device isn't the magical solution to any of those scenarios but it's an optional extra that - even if it didn't prevent as many rapes as the inventor hopes - will give women the confidence to know that they can go out with an extra tick on their "list of things I'm doing to keep myself safe". It's a sad fact that women in many circumstances have to even do this, but it's a fact nontheless. Papering over it with right on (!) "we need to educate men" paper isn't good enough, hasn't yet been effective enough and isn't instant enough.

    No woman is going to be forced to wear one, and the possible flaw asserted earlier in the thread [by myself, too] about non-wearers being accused of consenting is definitely an issue. There are creases that need to be ironed out, and definitely in terms of the law I guess. But I think it will help. I at least think it's worth trying. If I lived in SA or somewhere else that I frequently felt at risk or heard constant reportage of rape then I'm pretty sure I'd be signing up.

    The cost is an issue, but maybe if they're successful they will be subsidised, we don't know. I don't think that's a big enough stumbling block to bring the whole thing down. Also, as I said before they're giving them away free at the moment to women who feel they need them. In Pretoria, anyway, which is the only place I know anyone I could ask.

    Just as there's no compulsion or obligation to carry a rape alarm, but some women do, I don't see why it is being so roundly condemned. Anyway, surely a screeching alarm would have just as much chance of "enraging" an attacker as metal barbs in his penis, as it has the same aim of giving the victim a fighting chance and changes the power dynamic at least slightly. I think an attacker enraged by a rapex device would be less likely to go apeshit than one who was confronted by a wailing rape alarm. If only because he is going to be physically incapacitated by the pain of the former.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    seeker wrote: »
    :confused::confused::confused:

    How do I even begin to comprehend that sentence ?

    What on earth are you talking about ?

    Rape is portrayed as a violent act of men vs. women.

    Murder could be looked at in the same way, murderers vs. others.

    Neither can be solved by putting the onus on one group, as a society (thus: everyone) has to do their bit to reduce the amount of all violent crimes. Even if that's just doing what we are here, talking about it.

    Direct measures to combat it - rather than arming women, as I said earlier, we need a more effective police campaign against rape, and more support for the victims of rape so they don't feel like there's nobody out there.

    If I recall correctly, the government withdrew £50,000 from the rape crisis organisation. Bear in mind this is roughly equivilent to an MPs expense account, and many many taxpayers by themselves pay more in income tax.

    In South Africa they need to take the same steps. A more effective police force, more support for the victims and finally - more 'propaganda' if you want to call it that to tell people that rape is wrong. When you imagine rape, I'm sure it makes you feel sick, like it does me. If someone says it out loud I can feel the colour drain from my face.

    That's less a human natural instinct and more because we are taught from a young age that crime is wrong and rape is one of the most awful, abhorrent crimes possible. Which is true (before anyone misinterprets me) - but in other countries how many rapists feel the same sickening feeling as we do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Levi wrote: »
    Rape is different, as there are no "rules" on what to do to avoid it; but if you know the rules, choose to not follow them, and you come out worse off, then are you not "partly to blame"?

    Un-fucking-believable. no wonder the conviction rate is so low with attitude like this. I used to think that Kermit was a little paranoid but fuck dude.

    A woman is never, ever, partly to blame for being raped. It's simply not possible - even in the aquittal example earlier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote: »
    it is our responsibility to keep ourselves as safe as possible, when possible

    It isn't your responsibility at all. It's a good idea, for sure, but no matter what measures you take there is still the possibility that it could happen.

    I couldn't care less if a woman walked down the street naked shouting "fuck me, fuck me" at every passer-by. The minute she says "no" it is rape.

    Ever action after that is not her fault, it is the perpetrators. That simple.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So, let me ask the pertinent question here and it's one for all the women.

    Would you have one [virtually] permanently inside you? If not, when would you use it?

    I would love to get some of these, I'd wear them all the time. I can't go without razor blades in my vagina anymore (I tried to in January but only lasted six days without) and this would seem like a similar experience from the psychological point of view but would probably be healthier physically. It seems that you can only buy them in shops in South Africa though? Also to replace it every 24 hours as recommended would be quite expensive.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't mean to kill this thread, sorry if I did.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry, I think most people had already said a lot after nine pages - sure it will continue a bit more as well :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    I didn't mean to kill this thread, sorry if I did.


    You didn't really, you just underlined what I had said. No woman is going to use this - certainly not all the time and that makes it just a gimmick.

    The real issue here is "men" taking responsibility for our own actions and for teaching our children - especially the males - that they cannot blame the girl for rape. Even a tiny bit. Until we get that message accepted there will always be people who think that "she was asking for it"...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The real issue here is "men" taking responsibility for our own actions and for teaching our children - especially the males - that they cannot blame the girl for rape. Even a tiny bit.

    :yes:
    Until we get that message accepted there will always be people who think that "she was asking for it"...

    :yes: Just because she was 'asking for it' doesn't mean a man should do it though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the elaboration. I think I understand you more.
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Rape is portrayed as a violent act of men vs. women.

    Murder could be looked at in the same way, murderers vs. others.

    Neither can be solved by putting the onus on one group, as a society (thus: everyone) has to do their bit to reduce the amount of all violent crimes. Even if that's just doing what we are here, talking about it.

    And then it appears we have a major short circuit in the thought process.
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Direct measures to combat it - rather than arming women, as I said earlier, we need a more effective police campaign against rape, and more support for the victims of rape so they don't feel like there's nobody out there.

    If I recall correctly, the government withdrew £50,000 from the rape crisis organisation. Bear in mind this is roughly equivilent to an MPs expense account, and many many taxpayers by themselves pay more in income tax.

    In South Africa they need to take the same steps. A more effective police force, more support for the victims and finally - more 'propaganda' if you want to call it that to tell people that rape is wrong. When you imagine rape, I'm sure it makes you feel sick, like it does me. If someone says it out loud I can feel the colour drain from my face.

    That's less a human natural instinct and more because we are taught from a young age that crime is wrong and rape is one of the most awful, abhorrent crimes possible. Which is true (before anyone misinterprets me) - but in other countries how many rapists feel the same sickening feeling as we do?

    Your suggested "direct measures" involve a violation of at least one individual (and more than likely a great many more).

    Maybe you are working from statistics again and proposing the "greater good" morality.

    I find that repugnant if I think about it too much, so please don`t include me in your "everyone" especially when advocating violations.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The minute she says "no" it is rape.

    :thumb:

    (Is it only a matter of time before you stop limiting that thought to sexual interactions ? ;)

    Or am I just a dreamer ?)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    seeker wrote: »
    Your suggested "direct measures" involve a violation of at least one individual (and more than likely a great many more).

    Maybe you are working from statistics again and proposing the "greater good" morality.

    I find that repugnant if I think about it too much, so please don`t include me in your "everyone" especially when advocating violations.

    Sorry seeker, I'm really confused.

    Are you saying I'm advocating rape? I'm not sure how I did that, and think that would be obvious.

    Or do you mean some kind of civil liberties 'violation'. I'm just not sure what you're saying.
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