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rape

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can you stay somewhere else for a while? and where in the midlands if i may ask?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I could but my family wont, they dont beleive the threat is real. in worcester
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell your family how scared you are if you haven't already, and until you go to the police (if you do) I'd suggest not going to far from your home, always hang with a friend or two to make you feel safer when you go out.

    I may of missed something but what are the others family saying to you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Makoto wrote: »
    Tell your family how scared you are if you haven't already, and until you go to the police (if you do) I'd suggest not going to far from your home, always hang with a friend or two to make you feel safer when you go out.

    I may of missed something but what are the others family saying to you?

    the girls family or my family? my family say dont be silly they wont really come. her family hasnt said anything to me. exept from a boy who i think is her brother 'well gang rape you' and her friend ' what!? well do it again. youll have to eat her out before college is over... we know where you live ( says my adress) well blow your eyes out. ' I looked at her the wrong way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The police will protect you;

    tell them you feel intimidated and have received threats. They'll note this down, and tell you if you ever think they're going to attack you / follow you / whatever immediately call 999. They'll send a squad car straight to you to look after you.

    You shouldn't feel like you can't tell anyone - the reason they're threatening you is because they're scared of getting in trouble with the police. If you go and talk to the police, they won't do anything they think might put you in danger. They'll put them in custody, then they'll speak to witnesses and collect evidence and then if they feel like they've got enough they'll charge them where they'll be kept in custody (i.e. prison) until their court dates. I can't see them getting bail for such a violent and horrible crime, although I'm not a legal person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she will, but not her family. and what about when they get out?

    it would be witness intimidation. if they did that they would go straight back inside. family members could also be arrested if they were to threaten you or physically harm you once you've gone to the police because thats still witness intimidation. it carries a lot more weight in terms of the law and what can be done. a restraining order can only be got through the police once the case has gone to court. an injunction you can get yourself through a civil court but would cost you a fair bit in terms of solicitors fees. though i think you're worrying too much about 'what ifs'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I can't see them getting bail for such a violent and horrible crime, although I'm not a legal person.

    ... even if they did, they could still have conditions imposed on them, which would most likely be that they couldn't come near you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The police are fairly good at protecting you, once you've gone to them they're going to keep an eye on you and if they so much as make a move they're going to put them inside double time. Which is why THEIR legal advice will tell them to stay away from you.

    Effectively if they intimidate you they're demonstrating they've got something to hide and any evidence of this can and will be used in court which isn't going to paint a pretty picture of them, meaning they're more likely to get convicted, and if they do, they'll probably get more time inside.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is such an awful situation for you to be going through. My advice would be to go to the police as well, I know it must seem like the hardest thing in the world right now but there is no way you can let them continue this, if you leave it and don't go to the police they are going to carry on with this intimidation and violence because they know they can get away with it, if you go to the police you will have people helping you and protecting you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    Really sorry to hear what happened to you. As other people have already mentioned, whilst it's your right to decide whether to contact the police, if you are afraid then the only way to guarantee your safety is to contact the police.

    I'm sorry that your own family are reacting the way they are and the very odd reaction of the student teacher. Given the situation you've described I would imagine there will be questions asked about why a meeting has been arranged for the future and not immediately. This is after a very, very extreme situation, just about as extreme as it is possible to imagine.

    Given the description of the events you've mentioned I think you will need to speak to someone, especially as your describing a psychological reaction to an event (the memory loss, recalling events) that will be very hard to deal with without professional support.

    The police can help with those issues, and will have a team of people able to support you - from dealing with the reporting, counselling, and an other threats that might be made to you.

    As a starting point to getting further help I'd suggest you speak to victim support in your area. They are separate from the police, and can advise you on local services that can help and on legal and court proceedings. You don't need to have decided whether your want to contact the police, and they can advise you without needing you to report the crime.

    The national number is 0845 30 30 900 or you can see a list of local services in the West Midlands

    I realise it can feel like there isn't anyway someone can protect you, but the reality is very different - people may like to pretend they can do what they want, or that the police can't stop them. But they can, and they do. Sex offenders like this will be very quickly monitored, and the family won't be able to act the way you describe. The news may make it seem like the police can't do anything - but they will if you ask them to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well my friend has stopped asnwering my calls, probably because she doent beleive the story and thinks im a nutter. I feel even more alone now, she was my best friend. My parents have told me to stop complaining nd pull myself together but I just cant. That phone lines closed now and I just dont know what to do with myself. This is unbareable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you thought about phoning the Samaritans, their open 24/7, they maybe able to help if you need someone to talk to.

    08457 90 90 90
    jo@samaritans.org
    www.samaritans.org
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whats worring me most is that they said they were gangsters, and that they have contoll over the college. That would explain why a huge crowd saw and how no teachers have told the police. what if they are?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    those would be lies to intimidate you, they have no control over the college.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just incase they are not, what can I do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well as you've said, so far you've only told one teacher - and they didn't know about it until you mentioned it. So they haven't any control over the college - and they obviously can't have intimidated anyone yet, as that would they've admitted what they've done. The police would obviously have been told the second they tried to contact the college - otherwise it would be the end of the career for everyone running the college.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just incase they are not, what can I do?

    Well you need to decide if you want to be controlled by these lies. If you don't want to be then the police are the people who can end these threats.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But some tachers do know i think, they pulled my away from her when she called me over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I expect the teachers will know because of one of two things:

    a) You said a crowd of people were present when you were attacked, I expect rumours and gossip have probably come about from this and some of the teachers might have picked up on this.

    or

    b) You have confided in a teacher and that person might have spoken with some other teachers to work out the best route of action and protection for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just find it amasing nothings been done. and it fits with what they have said. Im really worried that is the case.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teachers have limited powers, even in extreme cases. And they might not want to prejudice against students if they've just had hearsay etc.

    However, if you come forward (as you have done to one teacher) and talk to the school as well, then they will have to help you as they have a legal responsibility to a duty of care.

    The gang wont be in control of the college, nor will it be in control of the police. These are lifelines there for you to get help. I know they've intimidated you to make you feel like you can't go to them - because if you do they know they're fucked.

    If they were really in control of the college why would they care if you told all the teachers, because they could just tell the teachers to ignore it. The reality is they're telling you not to go to anyone because they're scared of what will happen to them.

    You've got your friends for moral support as well, and thesite as a fallback. You don't need to feel scared anymore, the police will protect you from these monsters, that's what they're there for.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its leaked out at college that i have witten about my ordeal ( but in less detail) at shyunited.com . they were starting to not beleive me there so I came here. Ive read that gbh with intent can get you up to life imprisonment. if someone could copy and paste what it says for gbh section 20 and what the punishment for gang rape is or tell me where i could find it, it would be great. Im thinking of putting it up there so they can see it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its leaked out at college that i have witten about my ordeal ( but in less detail) at shyunited.com . they were starting to not beleive me there so I came here. Ive read that gbh with intent can get you up to life imprisonment. if someone could copy and paste what it says for gbh section 20 and what the punishment for gang rape is or tell me where i could find it, it would be great. Im thinking of putting it up there so they can see it.


    Noone will get anything unless you go to the police. Sorry to sound like a stuck record but why would you think that such people would take note of a restraining order (which is just a piece of paper) but would not be taken down by the coppers?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest posting about what particular crime's punishment is would be entirely irrelevant to convincing people about what you've experienced. It doesn't matter what people believe or not on a message board - what matters is that you do speak to someone to provide you some practical help. And if you say that the story is now out then you should immediately contact the police - given what you've said you've been threatened with if the story did come out.

    Given what you've described the maximum penalty is life imprisonment by the way, but again, knowing that doesn't make anything more believable to a message board.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I can see it you have a few choices:

    - ignore the girl and her mates, they may leave you alone, and drop it there

    - go to the police / get someone to go for you so it can be looked at properly

    I don't think it's a good idea to just threaten them though, if you're not actually going to go to the police. Because the actual punishment will depend on the police's assesment of the case.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They said if I go to the police they will come to my house and gang rape me.

    They would be in remand prison so would not be able to come around to your house and rape you.

    Go to the police.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why on earth did none of these people watching do anything to stop the situation?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well I told the teachers about it today, they didnt know about it and said if they did they would have done something. they interveiwed everyone I thought was a witness but none of them said anything. It doesnt look like I have enough evidence to go to the police. But at least I know they were lieng about having controll over the college, which pretty much invalidates their threats too. They said they have a torture kit the other day which is blatently bs. I feel safe again now. even if there not convicted half of the nightmare is over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesnt look like I have enough evidence to go to the police

    The fact that you have been assaulted is a serious crime and if it goes unreported and they get away with it that empowers them to inflict the same sort of violence upon someone else. I also think that if you don't report this crime regardless of whether they accept your evidence or not you will be making a mistake (this is just my opinion, it is of course up to you how you wish to deal with the situation). If they have attacked someone before or if they do it in the future, your allegations will be taken far more seriously as will the allegations of their other victims.

    I am glad you are feeling more safe now, but please don't feel that the police won't take you seriously just because of an apparent lack of evidence, you have every right to report this crime and to get the appropriate help and support which you might need right now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    half of the nightmare is over.

    how the fuck can you say that? ~ its not like you can brush it all under the carpet and forget it.

    what about the phone video - that is evidence besides the witnesses. the police would take a complaint seriously, then they would investigate it. and as has been said, reporting it stops the same thing happening to someone else.

    since you say, you arn't scared of them anymore, isn't that more reason to go to the police?
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