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Whats the best way to finish a rel?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Title says it all really. But how if it has to be done do you usually go about it/what is the nicest way if you're on the receiving end of being broken up with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not over the phone if it can be helped. That's horrible.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nikki* wrote: »
    Not over the phone if it can be helped. That's horrible.

    Or MSN.

    Face to face is best I guess. However don't just say something like 'I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you' then walk off as though nothing has happened.

    Try to not do it whilst in a bad mood or upset.

    ETA: http://www.thesite.org.uk/sexandrelationships/couples/relationshipissues/tacticsindumping might be of some help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My problem is he isn't going to be expecting this at all...maybe my fualt for not being open over the past few months but we've both been busy and we've hardly seen each other.

    I wouldn't ever do it over the internet/phone even if it does mean I'm gonna end up driving a 100 mile round trip to see him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kazbo wrote: »
    My problem is he isn't going to be expecting this at all...maybe my fualt for not being open over the past few months but we've both been busy and we've hardly seen each other.

    I wouldn't ever do it over the internet/phone even if it does mean I'm gonna end up driving a 100 mile round trip to see him.

    Yeah with an ex I travelled to see him and THEN he broke up with me. 5 hours crying on a coach is not fun. Face to face is best and usually on his turf so he feels more comfortable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    Yeah with an ex I travelled to see him and THEN he broke up with me. 5 hours crying on a coach is not fun. Face to face is best and usually on his turf so he feels more comfortable.

    I had an ex who dumped me by email!!!!!!! Then he changed his mind and a few days later, dumped me on the phone. I don't think a guy has dumped me in a worse possible way.

    To the OP, I agree with Rach :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Snow White Queen* wrote: »
    I had an ex who dumped me by email!!!!!!! Then he changed his mind and a few days later, dumped me on the phone. I don't think a guy has dumped me in a worse possible way.

    To the OP, I agree with Rach :yes:

    lol, same ex innit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Were you dumped twice too? :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not saying anything ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hand deliver a letter I reckon. Then you can put everything down rather than not knowing what to say, but at least you're there for him to dissect every little thing with. I'm one of the ones who do that, definately. But only when I don't understand.

    Actually, best breakup :) was with one girlfriend who things weren't working out with, my girlfriend took me aside one lunchtime at school and said we should just be friends and I laughed and said ok. However, the sting with that, was she had already been making moves onto my best friend, and didn't really spare any time (although we were v. amicable) as a 'grieving' period. Felt like it was a bit insensitive. But IME, people don't tend to wait anymore!

    Suppose it's all swings and roundabouts though, another girl broke up with me, then her friend who had been desperate to get with me asked me out the next day :). I have to say, (the best friend) is one of the partners I've had who I think back of most fondly and miss to an extent. Always get a *sigh :heart:* in my chest thinking back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Quick.
    Honest.
    Face to face.

    :thumb:
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    kaffrin wrote: »
    Quick.
    Honest.
    Face to face.

    :thumb:

    :yes: I would say that honest is the most important thing on that list.

    The best article I've read on how to do it kindly is from the Lovers Guide
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the flesh, with respect, and try to give them a proper explanation. It can drive a person crazy if you break up with them and don't give a proper reason why.

    Most guys seem to opt for the "just not bother, let them down" attitude, usually lasting several months. Wimps.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katchika wrote: »
    In the flesh, with respect, and try to give them a proper explanation. It can drive a person crazy if you break up with them and don't give a proper reason why.

    Most guys seem to opt for the "just not bother, let them down" attitude, usually lasting several months. Wimps.

    and timewasters......:( I could have been out with other blokes while I thought I was going out with you, you wimpy bastard!!! :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think a guy has dumped me in a worse possible way.

    doing it by text is worse. that seems to make guys go a bit crazy.



    not that i would ever do such a thing :blush:


    anyways, as has already been said, do it in person, and don't drag the meeting out before you begin. it's never going to be pleasant for them, but it can be clean, honest and genuine. don't soften it with platitudes you don't mean, either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    long lost lady wrote: »
    anyways, as has already been said, do it in person, and don't drag the meeting out before you begin. it's never going to be pleasant for them, but it can be clean, honest and genuine. don't soften it with platitudes you don't mean, either.

    So basically straight to the point and don't let it drag on & on?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honest and to the point. Dumping by text is a bad idea, but I have done it before.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welcome to Dumpsville. Population:You
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shovel to the back of the head normally works :thumb:

    Seriously though, face to face is the only way to do it unless you're 16. That said, my ex of 3 years did it over the phone (she was on the other side of the world at the time - bitch).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    long lost lady wrote: »
    doing it by text is worse.
    Nah. Worst is when you go to see them, they buy you a big teddy bear, walk you home, you think everything's ok. Have your dinner, then when you get online you read a thread on TheSite telling you that you've apparently just had a conversation that you don't recall happening, in which you agree that things "weren't working out, and it was for the best to break up".

    That one was fun :yeees:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Nah. Worst is when you go to see them, they buy you a big teddy bear, walk you home, you think everything's ok. Have your dinner, then when you get online you read a thread on TheSite telling you that you've apparently just had a conversation that you don't recall happening, in which you agree that things "weren't working out, and it was for the best to break up".

    That one was fun :yeees:.

    Thats horrible. I would say chop the bastards balls off but you would have probably done that already.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    freeallangels19 wrote: »
    Thats horrible. I would say chop the bastards balls off but you would have probably done that already.
    Next time I see him, I'll be sure to do just that. It doesn't bother me now though, was ages ago and I don't see the point in dwelling on things which don't affect me anymore. And he did a lot worse than just break up with me, so I don't care anymore.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Woah you can't just drop that little bombshell and not tell us who the poster was? It's like not even allowed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lacy wrote: »
    Woah you can't just drop that little bombshell and not tell us who the poster was? It's like not even allowed.
    Most people know, to be honest. It was nearly 4 years ago, anyway :p. Annnnnnnnnd he's been banned since. Twice, actually :chin:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Most people know, to be honest. It was nearly 4 years ago, anyway :p. Annnnnnnnnd he's been banned since. Twice, actually :chin:.

    Despite the two clues i am still no closer to finding out who this bloke is. I must have been out that night or something :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kazbo wrote: »
    My problem is he isn't going to be expecting this at all....

    that was how it was with me and my ex. relationship was going great, had no signs of any problems at all (well, there weren't any!) - then out of the sudden he finished with me because he wanted to be on his own. i sometimes think do i wish he'd mentioned anything to me before but then i think it wouldn't have made much difference - just would've been less of a shock. :(

    definately do it face to face. any other way is a cowards way, imo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Most people know, to be honest. It was nearly 4 years ago, anyway :p. Annnnnnnnnd he's been banned since. Twice, actually :chin:.

    Not Doomsday???? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HanHan wrote: »
    Not Doomsday???? :confused:
    Nooooooooooooooo.

    This guy was LONG before your time.

    Lacy - the last time he got banned was when he suggested that he wanted to go to the last meet, if that helps (which would have been in October/November) :p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Last two times I've been dumped there's been passionate sex immediately afterwards, if there's a better way to have it done to you then I've not heard of it yet ;)

    Seriously, face to face is always best. It'll be a horrible shock no doubt, but if it needs to be done then so be it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Nooooooooooooooo.

    This guy was LONG before your time.

    Lacy - the last time he got banned was when he suggested that he wanted to go to the last meet, if that helps (which would have been in October/November) :p.

    Oh!! :hyper: Makes me feel like a young whippersnapper now...:)
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