Home Home, Law & Money
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Question about divorce

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok so my parents are getting divorced as you know. My dads divorcing my mum for adultery because it's quicker and she can't afford to pay for the divorce. In 1 bit it asks them to state if they're co-habiting/in a relationship with someone else etc. They both put no, but my dads living with his gf and he put no because he said they'd want all her details and it would just mean more time and paper work. But i'm wondering if they took her details (income) into account, my mum might get more out of it?
Atm my mums allowed to stay here till my brothers 18 (he's 15). She'll get £5k when the divorce is finalised and another £10k when she leaves the house. She currently owns her parents house but they're still living there - which is worth roughly £120k. Neither of the houses have been valued yet. My brother and I get to keep everything in our rooms and mum gets everything in hers, everything else belongs to dad but he's letting mum take what she wants because he's already got a new house. She's going to get advice from a solicitor but i'm just wondering if my dads gfs details will make a difference or not?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that your mum would get less child support from your dad as his missus has kiddos that he's now financially responsible for, if he stated that he was living with them. don't quote me though yeah.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    i think that your mum would get less child support from your dad as his missus has kiddos that he's now financially responsible for, if he stated that he was living with them. don't quote me though yeah.

    she doesn't have any kids
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh, my mistake. sorry, thought she had... not that helpful then eh? try the ask thesite thing then maybe?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I know, if he did enter his gf details, her income would be assessed as well, when it comes to things such as child support etc. You or your mum should get some legal advice perhaps from CAB.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my mums going to see a solicitor because she doesn't think that £15k is fair. It's 1/4 of my dads pension so she can take a lump and then won't be entitled to anymore when it matures. But she thinks dad might be ripping her off. But she can't really mention dads gf because as far as they know, she doesn't exist. But she's on a decent income so i would have thought it might cause us to be entitled to more, especially as she doesn't have any kids.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I understand it for a fair settlement to be reached everything should be taken into consideration.

    I also found out the other day that it doesn't matter how long you have been seperated for, if you have a relationship with another person before you are divorced it can be considered as 'adultery'.

    Makes no sense whatsoever to me...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would have thought they won't take the gf's income into consideration as they aren't married and i suppose technically she could leave tomorrow? And just becuase they are together doesn't mean she has to allow your dad to benefit from her income.

    Im not sure but i doubt they would look at the GFs income. I reckon it would be an assesment of income/assets etc at the time of separation, although im not sure.

    I think seeing the solicitor is the best idea, you mum could always ask 'hypatheticall' what would be the scenario if your dad had a gf etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    I would have thought they won't take the gf's income into consideration as they aren't married and i suppose technically she could leave tomorrow? And just becuase they are together doesn't mean she has to allow your dad to benefit from her income.

    Im not sure but i doubt they would look at the GFs income. I reckon it would be an assesment of income/assets etc at the time of separation, although im not sure.

    I think seeing the solicitor is the best idea, you mum could always ask 'hypatheticall' what would be the scenario if your dad had a gf etc.

    well she's just bought a house that they're moving into this weekend, and she bought a new car last month too - so she's certainly not short. But seeing as there's not legal relationship between them then i'm not sure if they will take her into consideration. But why ask?
    My parents are mostly sorting this between themselves, but my mum doesn't understand what she's entitled to and dad could just be fobbing her off and he's sorting out all the papers. £15k for 18years of marriage and 2 kids doesn't seem a fair pay off to me. Most of it is going towards her pension because she didn't have one until recently.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    well she's just bought a house that they're moving into this weekend, and she bought a new car last month too - so she's certainly not short. But seeing as there's not legal relationship between them then i'm not sure if they will take her into consideration. But why ask?
    My parents are mostly sorting this between themselves, but my mum doesn't understand what she's entitled to and dad could just be fobbing her off and he's sorting out all the papers. £15k for 18years of marriage and 2 kids doesn't seem a fair pay off to me. Most of it is going towards her pension because she didn't have one until recently.

    Fair pay off or not, it depends how much £££ your dad has etc, and also, they could *very well* take into account your mum owns a property even though she doesn't live in it.

    I have to ask - what do YOU consider a fair pay-off? Why do you feel she should be entitled to any more if this is all your dad has?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I don't know about your dad's girlfriend -sounds fishy to me though- but, if your dad is "accusing" your mum of adultery, isn't it going to be worse for her than if they said they both agreed to get one? It all sounds very strange to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know about your dad's girlfriend -sounds fishy to me though- but, if your dad is "accusing" your mum of adultery, isn't it going to be worse for her than if they said they both agreed to get one? It all sounds very strange to me.

    Aye - I don't think they will take his girlfriend into account. If her finances are separate from your dad's then it should have no bearing on things - even if they ARE living together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know about your dad's girlfriend -sounds fishy to me though- but, if your dad is "accusing" your mum of adultery, isn't it going to be worse for her than if they said they both agreed to get one? It all sounds very strange to me.

    Yeah hard to really judge with out knowing the full story :yes:

    I regards to the house and car she has bought, if she has bought them in her name not jointly with your dad (referring mainly to the house) then i can't see what difference that would have.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    Yeah hard to really judge with out knowing the full story :yes:

    I regards to the house and car she has bought, if she has bought them in her name not jointly with your dad (referring mainly to the house) then i can't see what difference that would have.

    Exactly - why should the fact that she has a few quid, utterly unrelated to your father, mean that your father should give your mum any more money?

    It's just sad when marriages end and all it comes down to is 'How much money can I get?'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel007 wrote: »
    Exactly - why should the fact that she has a few quid, utterly unrelated to your father, mean that your father should give your mum any more money?

    It's just sad when marriages end and all it comes down to is 'How much money can I get?'

    That's what i'm trying to find out. Tbh i want my mum to get all the money she can get, as she isn't getting any of the house, and me and my brother are staying with her, she's just getting the contents that she wants because dad already has a new place so doesnt need any. Thats just a dining table thats hers anyway, some chairs, the kitchen table, the sofa and the tv, kettle, microwave and toaster. And he's only divorcing her on adultery to make it quicker, he's not actually accusing her of it.
    The reason i feel this way is because my dads intimidated my mum throughout the whole marriage, and even friends are saying they won't be suprising if he tries to give her less than what she's entitled to. Like it's been said, you don't know the whole story. I'm pretty sure my dad cheated in 2004 (they almost split up then but never really got back to normal). But my mum can't afford the divorce, so dads filing for it. I don't see why reasons for the divorce should affect what each party is entitled to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    That's what i'm trying to find out. Tbh i want my mum to get all the money she can get, as she isn't getting any of the house, and me and my brother are staying with her, she's just getting the contents that she wants because dad already has a new place so doesnt need any. Thats just a dining table thats hers anyway, some chairs, the kitchen table, the sofa and the tv, kettle, microwave and toaster. And he's only divorcing her on adultery to make it quicker, he's not actually accusing her of it.
    The reason i feel this way is because my dads intimidated my mum throughout the whole marriage, and even friends are saying they won't be suprising if he tries to give her less than what she's entitled to. Like it's been said, you don't know the whole story. I'm pretty sure my dad cheated in 2004 (they almost split up then but never really got back to normal). But my mum can't afford the divorce, so dads filing for it. I don't see why reasons for the divorce should affect what each party is entitled to.

    I honestly think you need to seek professional advice on this one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even if your Dad is filing for it under the grounds of adultery, I would have thought your Mum would still have to pay costs...

    My best friend's other half is going through a messy divorce at the moment and it has cost both parties thousands in court fees as madcow ex won't settle (she has filed against him for adultery as well which under normal circumstances isn't the case but 'divorce' circumstances is!)
Sign In or Register to comment.