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The Big Breakup
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well, after months of mounting tension, pain, and distress, it finally happened this weekend. She said that she felt only friendship for me anymore, which was believable to me. We were together somewhere around 2 years and 7 months. We had our highs and our lows, but I guess the lows were just too much for the both of us.
I'm surprised how well I'm coping. I never really thought of a breakup as a posibility. When you're with someone this long, it kind of slips to the back of your mind, only striking you in nightmares on occasion. The few times I had imagined it, I pictured myself struggling to survive afterwards. My friends have been great so far, and they've been able to keep me from thinking about it.
She said that she thinks we should still be friends, but I told her I didn't think that was a possibility, although I would try. It might work until I find someone else, but after that, I just won't have time to see someone who is now hated by most of my friends (despite my telling them that we're still friends) and my family. The strangest thing is that she wanted to be friends, but she gave me the cold shoulder today at work for seemingly no reason; I know none of my friends talked to her, I told them not to say anything and I trust them enough to believe that they didn't.
My friends have convinced me enough not to try and get back with her, even if she wanted to; they said she was bad for me and she was sucking the life out of me, which I know is true. I still love her, even though she made me feel like shit 75% of the time. It was a very difficult relationship to deal with emotionally for this reason.
Enough of story time, and on to the real dilemma. Last semester I met a girl who I really like, and I get the feeling she really likes me back. She gave me her number but I never called her (I was a good boyfriend). I've talked to her in person a few times this semester though, so she still knows who I am and hopefully still likes me.
My relationship has been a whole lot of nothing for several months now, so I feel as if I haven't been in one for a while and I'm ready to start seeing someone (I know some of you are going to think I'm crazy for this, so here's your chance to speak your mind). Should I call her and ask if she wants to hang out? If so, when should I do it? My friends are encouraging me to call her so I have a strong "rebound" emotionally. The ball's in your court, everybody. What should I do?
I'm surprised how well I'm coping. I never really thought of a breakup as a posibility. When you're with someone this long, it kind of slips to the back of your mind, only striking you in nightmares on occasion. The few times I had imagined it, I pictured myself struggling to survive afterwards. My friends have been great so far, and they've been able to keep me from thinking about it.
She said that she thinks we should still be friends, but I told her I didn't think that was a possibility, although I would try. It might work until I find someone else, but after that, I just won't have time to see someone who is now hated by most of my friends (despite my telling them that we're still friends) and my family. The strangest thing is that she wanted to be friends, but she gave me the cold shoulder today at work for seemingly no reason; I know none of my friends talked to her, I told them not to say anything and I trust them enough to believe that they didn't.
My friends have convinced me enough not to try and get back with her, even if she wanted to; they said she was bad for me and she was sucking the life out of me, which I know is true. I still love her, even though she made me feel like shit 75% of the time. It was a very difficult relationship to deal with emotionally for this reason.
Enough of story time, and on to the real dilemma. Last semester I met a girl who I really like, and I get the feeling she really likes me back. She gave me her number but I never called her (I was a good boyfriend). I've talked to her in person a few times this semester though, so she still knows who I am and hopefully still likes me.
My relationship has been a whole lot of nothing for several months now, so I feel as if I haven't been in one for a while and I'm ready to start seeing someone (I know some of you are going to think I'm crazy for this, so here's your chance to speak your mind). Should I call her and ask if she wants to hang out? If so, when should I do it? My friends are encouraging me to call her so I have a strong "rebound" emotionally. The ball's in your court, everybody. What should I do?
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Comments
If i were in that position, Id probably leave it for a couple of the weeks, as using her as a 'rebound' as your friends think it would be, isnt really fair on the girl.
You may need a bit of time to clear your past relationship out of your head first as you were together for sometime. There's no need to rush, just when you feel ready give her a friendly call:)
I know exactly what you mean by this... when I split up with an ex of mine I had felt that the relationship was going nowhere for the last few months so when we finally split, all I felt was release... I honestly thing I had got over the relationship breaking up whilst I was still in it!
That said... if you are really going to try and give it a go to have a friendship with your ex and it was a mutual break-up - I would consider leaving it a few weeks before setting your sights on someone new... otherwise it may look to her and most people around you that you are jumping into things too quickly...
Also bear in mind this new Lady's feelings... she may feel like she has become the rebound girl and that can't be good for a new relationship.
Have a few weeks on your own, get your head together and then do what you feel is right!