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Best Of
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
I’ve been struggling for a long time. Most days I wake up feeling numb, sad, or sick. Everything feels dull, like the world’s lost its colour. Sometimes I get a day where I feel genuinely happy again, but it never lasts.
I also feel really alone. My best friend, who used to make me feel safe, isn’t around much anymore, and I miss her a lot. I don’t really have anyone else I can talk to or hug when things get bad. It feels like whenever I trust people, they either leave or hurt me — even adults who were meant to help.
A while ago, my maths teacher was investigated and removed for sending inappropriate messages to students. He never messaged me personally, but knowing it happened and realising how unsafe things were really affected me. Since then, I’ve found it hard to trust adults at school or believe that the people who are supposed to help actually will.
I’ve had bad panic attacks for a long time, even before that situation. During them I feel dizzy, my limbs go numb, and nothing feels real. Sometimes I dissociate even when nothing specific has happened, and it’s really scary.
Because of everything that’s happened, I get very attached to people who make me feel safe. I cling to them because I’m scared they’ll leave, and I want to make the most of it while it lasts. But that sometimes pushes people away, which makes me feel even more abandoned. It feels like no matter what I do, everyone ends up leaving eventually, and I don’t know how to stop being so scared of that.
Right now I just feel empty, scared, and colourless, and I don’t know what to do. I want to feel safe again and find someone I can really trust.
(Im lazy so i got chatgpt to type this up bc therapy is expensive and people are fucking unrelaible so ig chatgpt is my therpist. I also sent it to childline this morning I didnt get a response yet sorry if there is repetiton of things ive said before.)
I spent most of today crying i was bawling my eyes out this morning and this afternoon but that was bc of a movie tbh but this morning i was crying bc I felt lonely among other stuff.
Also goodbye @Nathan take care of yourself and thank you for all of your support
I also feel really alone. My best friend, who used to make me feel safe, isn’t around much anymore, and I miss her a lot. I don’t really have anyone else I can talk to or hug when things get bad. It feels like whenever I trust people, they either leave or hurt me — even adults who were meant to help.
A while ago, my maths teacher was investigated and removed for sending inappropriate messages to students. He never messaged me personally, but knowing it happened and realising how unsafe things were really affected me. Since then, I’ve found it hard to trust adults at school or believe that the people who are supposed to help actually will.
I’ve had bad panic attacks for a long time, even before that situation. During them I feel dizzy, my limbs go numb, and nothing feels real. Sometimes I dissociate even when nothing specific has happened, and it’s really scary.
Because of everything that’s happened, I get very attached to people who make me feel safe. I cling to them because I’m scared they’ll leave, and I want to make the most of it while it lasts. But that sometimes pushes people away, which makes me feel even more abandoned. It feels like no matter what I do, everyone ends up leaving eventually, and I don’t know how to stop being so scared of that.
Right now I just feel empty, scared, and colourless, and I don’t know what to do. I want to feel safe again and find someone I can really trust.
(Im lazy so i got chatgpt to type this up bc therapy is expensive and people are fucking unrelaible so ig chatgpt is my therpist. I also sent it to childline this morning I didnt get a response yet sorry if there is repetiton of things ive said before.)
I spent most of today crying i was bawling my eyes out this morning and this afternoon but that was bc of a movie tbh but this morning i was crying bc I felt lonely among other stuff.
Also goodbye @Nathan take care of yourself and thank you for all of your support
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
just remembered something my bf said to me when we weren’t together.. he said other girls are better then me and prettier.. we broken up before ( is what I meant) but it hurts.. bc he’s comparing me to every girl he knows/meets.
@eylah I know this might not mean a lot, but nobody should be comparing you to other girls, making you feel lesser than in a relationship, or ever for that matter. That prick by the sounds of it was trying to belittle you at every turn, trying to bring you down emotionally, and what he was saying would make anybody feel insecure and have a really bad impact on their mental health. I really think he was an extremely toxic person. You deserve so much better than that. Pricks like that don't deserve your kindness or care, or presence for that matter. You are a truly amazing person, with the kindest heart ever, and shame on anybody who treats you poorly.
And also, i am so so proud of you for drawing a line with him. Breaking up and blocking him must have hurt a huge amount, but despite that you pushed through, and were brave enough to do what was right for you and your wellbeing. That takes so much strength, and you should be immensely proud of yourself too. You deserve a lot more, and i'm glad you see that too.
aw. thankyou so much nathan. rly means a lot what you have said in this msg. rly makes me think how much I deserve in this world
! you rly make me smile. thankyou so much nathan 
eylah
5
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
just remembered something my bf said to me when we weren’t together.. he said other girls are better then me and prettier.. we broken up before ( is what I meant) but it hurts.. bc he’s comparing me to every girl he knows/meets.
@eylah I know this might not mean a lot, but nobody should be comparing you to other girls, making you feel lesser than in a relationship, or ever for that matter. That prick by the sounds of it was trying to belittle you at every turn, trying to bring you down emotionally, and what he was saying would make anybody feel insecure and have a really bad impact on their mental health. I really think he was an extremely toxic person. You deserve so much better than that. Pricks like that don't deserve your kindness or care, or presence for that matter. You are a truly amazing person, with the kindest heart ever, and shame on anybody who treats you poorly.
And also, i am so so proud of you for drawing a line with him. Breaking up and blocking him must have hurt a huge amount, but despite that you pushed through, and were brave enough to do what was right for you and your wellbeing. That takes so much strength, and you should be immensely proud of yourself too. You deserve a lot more, and i'm glad you see that too.
Nathan
5
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
we just broke up for gd.. im a sobbing mess. i blocked him.
eylah
5
Keeping at it
I have two Tesco job interviews coming up, one tomorrow and one on Friday, and I’m feeling quite nervous and not very hopeful. I’ve had several interviews over the past year, including two for Tesco before, and I tend to struggle with interviews in general. I’m trying to take things minute by minute and focus on getting a good night’s sleep tonight. I even bought a new duvet, which might seem small, but it’s a little thing to look forward to. I’ve been preparing using ChatGPT to build my confidence. I heard about a guy who helps people get into work, so I called him, and he told me to come into the library, where he said he’ll help. I also saw my key worker today and told him how long I’ve been trying to find a job and just asked for more help, so he’s contacting someone to put me on a programme that’s supposed to get me into work within 30 days. On top of that, Amazon have invited me in on Saturday to talk about a delivery driver job. I’ve heard mixed things about them, like they can make you do hundreds of deliveries a day, but I’m still going to go and see what it’s about. I’m just trying not to get my hopes up too much, as I’ve been in similar situations before where things seemed promising but didn’t go to plan.
Im hoping soon 1 thing or another something works out because the last few Christmases / end of the year etc or this kind of time have been hard as it feels like another year I've failed and I’ve been struggling for so long and always worried about my future, then setbacks and I have been looking for work since early last year, before that was setbacks and I didnt know what I want to do, I finished college in 2022, I just wasn't finding my feet before job searching, I just didn't know what I wanted to I was tried stuff that didn't work out and I just looking for work since early last year so Im just hoping something happens soon because I've not had the best self-esteem with all this, its been hard and long winded.
Im hoping soon 1 thing or another something works out because the last few Christmases / end of the year etc or this kind of time have been hard as it feels like another year I've failed and I’ve been struggling for so long and always worried about my future, then setbacks and I have been looking for work since early last year, before that was setbacks and I didnt know what I want to do, I finished college in 2022, I just wasn't finding my feet before job searching, I just didn't know what I wanted to I was tried stuff that didn't work out and I just looking for work since early last year so Im just hoping something happens soon because I've not had the best self-esteem with all this, its been hard and long winded.
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
just remembered something my bf said to me when we weren’t together.. he said other girls are better then me and prettier.. we broken up before ( is what I meant) but it hurts.. bc he’s comparing me to every girl he knows/meets.
Don't listen to them and, if you haven't already, try your best to block them out of your life. You already have quite a lot on your plate right now and you don't need someone's opinions on you bringing you down even more. You're an amazing and wonderful person and I, and others here, really like you.
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
I’m really sorry he said that to you, that kind of comment can leave a lot of hirt, even long after it happened. You don’t deserve to be compared to anyone. You are a lovely person as many others here will agree and no one should ever make you feel like you’re in competition with anyone else. Please remember that your worth isn’t measured by someone else’s opinions. You are more than enough, just as you are and always deserve compassion and support.
Ech0
5
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 27.10.25
just remembered something my bf said to me when we weren’t together.. he said other girls are better then me and prettier.. we broken up before ( is what I meant) but it hurts.. bc he’s comparing me to every girl he knows/meets.
eylah
5
coursework
i have good news; i received a notification on microsoft teams from my programme manager that i got a pass on my first piece of coursework for college. considering that this is my first piece of coursework im pretty proud of myself since i didnt fail it.
Just a rant
Since my son has woken up from his power nap he has been so unsettled, he is constantly crying. I don't know how to help him, I am trying my best but I really hate seeing him so upset and not being able to do anything to help. We got some Mcdonald fries since he loves those and I also let him decide on some snacks, which he wanted the barney bear things which he is obsessed with at the moment, he then also wanted these Dougie cupcakes which I allowed as I thought it would help him settle a bit. We are going to make these cupcakes and then put on a film. I really hope this helps him settle a bit because I don't like to see him so distressed.
It's also hard as he struggles to communicate, he is only 2 years old but his language isn't as clear as it should be as he is a bit behind which is okay. But I can't tell if he is in pain anywhere or if he isn't feeling well, he doesn't have a temperature so I don't feel the need to head to hospital.
I know he can't help it but sometimes the crying can become overwhelming but can also be kind of upsetting for me as I hear him cry when he has his port accessed for treatment and so when he cries at home it does make me feel really upset as I want him to feel safe at home and when he cries I feel like I am doing something wrong.
It's also hard at the moment as my PTSD is having some flare ups which I am doing my best to cope with but it is making everything a little bit more tricky.
TW- mention of appetite
I have slightly lost my appetite with everything going on at the moment, I think I am so overwhelmed that I just don't feel hungry and don't want to eat, yes I know isn't healthy.
I have work, I have called in sick a few times these past few weeks, I only work part time and I should go into work but I just don't feel up to it with everything at the moment.
I have been doing my best to keep up with the animal therapy I do, it's been tricky but I think seeing how much of a difference i am making to the children that come is what is keeping me going, but as it is coming to the colder months I will be closing just because I don't find it appropriate it have my clients do it when it is based outside. I know this may sound awful but I am sort of glad I will be closing soon as I feel I need that time away from it just to focus on myself and my son I guess.
I do feel exhausted, it isn’t easy.
I may put a smile on my face and show up for everyone and protect my child but on the inside I'm not so golden. On the inside it feels like I'm drowning.
I did also have a moment where my son just shattered my heart, I asked him what he would like for Christmas and he said "no more ouchie from doctor, chocolate bear and new monster truck" the way his first response was for no more doctors really upset me, he cries everytime but then pushes through and makes everyone laugh once his port has been accessed and his treatment is started, he really is strong and I really do wish I could make it all go away buy sadly I can't.
Nobody should ever have to go through such a scary diagnosis and no child this young should have to either, hospitals and doctors is basically all my son has ever known. His first 2 ever Christmases were spent there which is just super sad. I am really hoping this year things stay the way they are so he can spend Christmas at home and it will be super special. And also next year I am hoping he can spend his birthday at home too.
It's also hard as he struggles to communicate, he is only 2 years old but his language isn't as clear as it should be as he is a bit behind which is okay. But I can't tell if he is in pain anywhere or if he isn't feeling well, he doesn't have a temperature so I don't feel the need to head to hospital.
I know he can't help it but sometimes the crying can become overwhelming but can also be kind of upsetting for me as I hear him cry when he has his port accessed for treatment and so when he cries at home it does make me feel really upset as I want him to feel safe at home and when he cries I feel like I am doing something wrong.
It's also hard at the moment as my PTSD is having some flare ups which I am doing my best to cope with but it is making everything a little bit more tricky.
TW- mention of appetite
I have slightly lost my appetite with everything going on at the moment, I think I am so overwhelmed that I just don't feel hungry and don't want to eat, yes I know isn't healthy.
I have work, I have called in sick a few times these past few weeks, I only work part time and I should go into work but I just don't feel up to it with everything at the moment.
I have been doing my best to keep up with the animal therapy I do, it's been tricky but I think seeing how much of a difference i am making to the children that come is what is keeping me going, but as it is coming to the colder months I will be closing just because I don't find it appropriate it have my clients do it when it is based outside. I know this may sound awful but I am sort of glad I will be closing soon as I feel I need that time away from it just to focus on myself and my son I guess.
I do feel exhausted, it isn’t easy.
I may put a smile on my face and show up for everyone and protect my child but on the inside I'm not so golden. On the inside it feels like I'm drowning.
I did also have a moment where my son just shattered my heart, I asked him what he would like for Christmas and he said "no more ouchie from doctor, chocolate bear and new monster truck" the way his first response was for no more doctors really upset me, he cries everytime but then pushes through and makes everyone laugh once his port has been accessed and his treatment is started, he really is strong and I really do wish I could make it all go away buy sadly I can't.
Nobody should ever have to go through such a scary diagnosis and no child this young should have to either, hospitals and doctors is basically all my son has ever known. His first 2 ever Christmases were spent there which is just super sad. I am really hoping this year things stay the way they are so he can spend Christmas at home and it will be super special. And also next year I am hoping he can spend his birthday at home too.
