Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Update

2»

Comments

  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Great to hear everything is okay @pumpkinpie :)

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thanks @Shaunie[/USER] and [USER="95712"]Aife :)
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hiya,

    I’ve been wondering lately if it would be right to go back and see my GP about my mental health even though I’m having counselling? I wanted to get their proper opinion on a diagnosis since they just gave me their thoughts when I went to see them initially. Just to tie up loose ends/ get peace of mind I guess? It doesn’t bother me as such that I haven’t been diagnosed (apparently it’s really difficult to get a diagnosis) but I think it makes it easier to access support, especially when it’s tailored to particular conditions.

    I wasn’t sure if that would be a waste of their time since there’s nothing actually wrong with me, or how to actually broach the subject to them since it’s been several months since I discussed my mental health with them. I was going to wait a few more months before going anyway so that I would be going after having 6 months of counselling.

    Thoughts?

    Pumpkin
  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey Pumpkin

    I think that's absolutely the right thing to do :) doesn't matter if you are having counselling too, if it's going to give you peace of mind then I'd say go for it. You are not wasting their time for a chat about your mental health, you probably wouldn't feel you were wasting their time for a chat about your physical health - remember it's just as important as that. :heart:

    - Lucy :rainbow:
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I think is also right. If you’re going there knowing exactly what you want out of the appointment then that’s not a waste of time at all.

    You could explain to them that knowing roughly what is wrong/a diagnosis, would be helpful to know for you so you know exactly what is wrong and pin point it out to help you. As I think many people find that some comfort
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thanks @Lucy307[/USER] and [USER="96903"]Shaunie
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hi all,

    Hope everyone’s doing well, especially if you’re sitting exams like me! Just had to take a break from studying right now because I’m preoccupied (again) :

    I feel like my mum doesn’t really understand my mental health problems, and it’s putting me off talking about them with her because sometimes I get the impression that she doesn’t want to discuss them, like she’ll turn the TV on or find an excuse to leave the room or just say she knows she can’t do anything or that we go round in circles when we discuss it. I totally respect that she’s not going through this so she might not fully understand it, but it seems to me like she doesn’t get that I don’t choose to be negative about myself or not have much self confidence. She always goes on about how it’s so draining, which I get, but it upsets me when she says it to my face, and make me constantly worry that I’ve done something wrong. She was the one who told me not to bottle things up in the first place!

    Now she’s started asking me why I don’t tell her what my counsellor and I discuss in our weekly sessions without explaining why she wants to know, and even though I’ve been having counselling for months. She won’t listen when I say it’s a lot to relay back to her and it’s not easy to talk about some of it a lot (even though she knows how I feel.)

    Now I think she’s annoyed with me, which doesn’t help, it just makes me angry with myself and puts me off studying.

    Thoughts?

    Pumpkin
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey again Pumpkin.

    So shes dismisses when you try to start the conversation about your mental health but gets annoyed when you dont tell her what your counsellor & you talk about? Thats a bit confusing :/. Have you asked her why? Or have you had a discussion about how her saying “its draining” makes you feel? She probably doesnt mean to upset you- and she is probably just frustated that maybe she doesnt know what to say or something? You sound like you have a decent bond with each which is greAt. Definetly dont ‘bottle it up’. Its really nice to hear you have people to vent to:)

    Good luck with your exams!! :) Hope youre getting some time to relax aswell as studying
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hey and thanks Shaunie,

    Yeah I know it’s confusing, but she worries a lot about everything so she can be like that sometimes. We talked about this earlier, she isn’t really sure what to say because she “knows it’ll be wrong” but I told her that wasn’t true, I only dismiss what she says if I’m not feeling my best (and not intentionally.)

    She wants me to sit down with her and my dad and discuss exactly what is affecting me in terms of my mental health, which I will try to do, but it’s not easy for me personally to talk about it to people who don’t really understand, and my dad will probably just worry even more about suicide (some of his relatives have sadly taken their own lives) no matter how many times I tell him I’m not suicidal. I’ll try my best though.

    Pumpkin
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    That sounds helpful and supportive - to sit down and talk about it. Definetly not easy but just say what you can & how you feel and whatnot - theyre your family im sure it doesnt matter what you say they will be supoortive & just care & try to understand. I guess its okay for them to not understand cause like you said - they arent exactly where you are & maybe no one truly understands anyone cause all different & cope differently but them - trying to -is important & great.
    Glad to hear youre not suicidal:)

    Also maybe reassure your mum that she doesnt need to “aviod ‘saying wrong thing’” but simply listening and hearing you -can help and being there?

    Have you had that discussion yet?
    Hope youre doing okay
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    pumpkinpie wrote: »
    Hey and thanks Shaunie,

    Yeah I know it’s confusing, but she worries a lot about everything so she can be like that sometimes. We talked about this earlier, she isn’t really sure what to say because she “knows it’ll be wrong” but I told her that wasn’t true, I only dismiss what she says if I’m not feeling my best (and not intentionally.)

    She wants me to sit down with her and my dad and discuss exactly what is affecting me in terms of my mental health, which I will try to do, but it’s not easy for me personally to talk about it to people who don’t really understand, and my dad will probably just worry even more about suicide (some of his relatives have sadly taken their own lives) no matter how many times I tell him I’m not suicidal. I’ll try my best though.

    Pumpkin


    Hi Pumpkin,

    Talking to your parents is not easy, but isn't as scary as you think! The key is to explain it in a way that they can understand, and be ready to answer plenty of questions, because they'll be likely to have some in order to understand what you're going through. Being open and honest is much better than hiding things away and letting them explode later onx

    Much love <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thanks for your advice @Shaunie and @Azziman,

    I did talk to my parents earlier, mainly my dad since I haven’t really explained it a lot to him because he doesn’t understand mental health challenges that much and he works a lot so we don’t always have time to talk. Plus, I find it difficult to talk to people who may not understand it in case I don’t describe it well enough (or I’m worried about the response I’ll get.)

    He didn’t really understand it, he thinks it’s a choice to feel the way I do and be constantly negative, and started talking about something completely unrelated, but I guess it’s a start and I can build on that.

    Pumpkin
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Update- he just came up to my room and we had a chat, he feels bad about not understanding it and thinks it’s his fault that I feel the way I do because he’s not here a lot, so I reassured him that it’s okay. He’s not been feeling too good lately either but hasn’t told me because he doesn’t want to worry me during exams but he’s been struggling to deal with his brother’s death and people have noticed he’s being quite negative. We’ve decided to try and talk to each other more often to help each other understand what the other is going through.
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Pumpkine,

    Its great that you did decide to talk to your dad about the way which you are feeling and I understand that it can be hard to try and explain a situation when its not clear for ourselves.

    It sounds like a good idea that you have decided together that your going to talk to each other more so that you are able to help each other out. Has he got any other support or would you be able to direct him to some more support?

    How are you feeling at the moment?

    Rayofhope:rainbow::rainbow2:
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hi Rayofhope,

    Thanks for your support, I’ll definitely feel more at ease talking to him about my mental health now. The only other support he’s really got is my mum, but it just worries her a lot. I told him if things get really bad and he feels his mental health is suffering to go to the doctor, but I’m not sure if he would, he doesn’t like going there or admitting that something is wrong with him.

    Pumpkin
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Pumpkin,

    Its great that you feel that you are able to feel more at ease and you are able to open up and talk about how your feeling. You have done a great job at letting him know that he can go to the doctors. Well done.

    Rayofhope:rainbow::rainbow2:
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thank you @Rayofhope
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hey everyone, hope you’re all well, sorry I’ve not been around for a while, just been taking a break to recover from exams and settle into my final year at school (although I may leave if my exam results are good due to things that have happened at school affecting my mental health.) 

    So I posted a while ago about going back to see my GP to update them about my mental health situation/possibly gather their thoughts on a diagnosis again, but was worried about wasting their time. I made an appointment, which is in a few weeks, so could anyone give me guidance on what to say in order to not sound like I’m wasting their time? I was going to write down everything I experience/symptoms to give to them. 

    Hugs,

    Pumpkin 
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    Hey everyone, hope you’re all well, sorry I’ve not been around for a while, just been taking a break to recover from exams and settle into my final year at school (although I may leave if my exam results are good due to things that have happened at school affecting my mental health.) 

    So I posted a while ago about going back to see my GP to update them about my mental health situation/possibly gather their thoughts on a diagnosis again, but was worried about wasting their time. I made an appointment, which is in a few weeks, so could anyone give me guidance on what to say in order to not sound like I’m wasting their time? I was going to write down everything I experience/symptoms to give to them. 

    Hugs,

    Pumpkin 
    Hi Pumpkin,

    No worries - I hope that exams have gone well!

    About the GP, it's important to know that you won't be wasting their time, since they do have some training in mental health. Anyways, this is something that will help you recover, and that investment of time is not a waste either! I think that writing things down is a great idea - it helps to clarify and consolidate your thoughts. This sounds a bit like interview advice, but having an example to draw on gives more credibility to what you say. The official guidance on mental illness diagnosis requires that you are unable to live your daily life functionally due to your mental illness, so be sure to state how these symptoms/events prevent you from living your daily life functionally!x

    Much love <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thanks for your advice @Azziman
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hey all,

    Just to say I had that appointment with my GP yesterday, it went well, as you know I wanted to get a bit more of their insight into a diagnosis, as they said in a previous appointment it could be depression. They said yesterday it could also be aspects of my personality manifesting as depression symptoms (if that makes sense, they did explain it.)

    Anyways, they told me to just keep going with weekly counselling and to come back in about 3 months, as they thought it would be good for me to check in with them every few months or so just for them to see how I’m getting on mental health-wise, which I’m happy with. 

    Thanks for all your continued support, I do apologise for seeming like I’m not being supportive to you when you post, I just don’t think I give great advice or what I want to say has already been said! 

    Pumpkin 
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,288 Part of The Furniture
    Hey all,

    Just to say I had that appointment with my GP yesterday, it went well, as you know I wanted to get a bit more of their insight into a diagnosis, as they said in a previous appointment it could be depression. They said yesterday it could also be aspects of my personality manifesting as depression symptoms (if that makes sense, they did explain it.)

    Anyways, they told me to just keep going with weekly counselling and to come back in about 3 months, as they thought it would be good for me to check in with them every few months or so just for them to see how I’m getting on mental health-wise, which I’m happy with. 

    Thanks for all your continued support, I do apologise for seeming like I’m not being supportive to you when you post, I just don’t think I give great advice or what I want to say has already been said! 

    Pumpkin 
    Cool to see you around again, @pumpkinpie. :) It's awesome to hear you're happy with the level of support from your GP - experiences with them tend to be a very mixed bag. How is the counselling going?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hey @Mike,

    Counselling’s going pretty well I think, I’ve definitely noticed some changes in the 6 months I’ve been having it for, for example I’m less negative about myself and the voice in my head isn’t as strong and frequent as it was. My parents have also noticed that I’m less negative and less argumentative as well. 

    Pumpkin
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    I know I literally just posted last week that things were looking up but it’s got really bad for no reason since then: the voice in my head is so powerful and on at me more often than not, everything is overwhelming me to the point where I can’t even move or do anything, I’m literally just accepting everything the voice says in the hope it’ll go away since any of the tactics I’ve discussed with my counsellor to deal with them haven’t worked. 

    Speaking of which, I don’t think I’ve been getting that much out of my counsellor now that I really think about it, we don’t physically do a lot of things (some have been left half finished even though I’ve mentioned them) and we don’t even seem to talk about what I’m going through in our sessions as much as we used to. I’ve tried mentioning things but we never discuss them for long.

    Today was bad, I was having a nice day out with my mum but I was tense and on the edge and I snapped and took everything out on her over something silly (which made the voices even stronger) and I just broke down.

    I’ve had “blips” like this before but they’ve never lasted more than a day or two and I’ve never had such strong feelings of not being able to cope. My parents have no idea what to say or do so they just feel hopeless and useless.

    I’m trying to overcome this, I really am but nothing’s working. My mum suggested I should go back and see my GP (then admitted she just said it “for something to say”) but what else could they do apart from putting me on a mile long waiting list or giving me medication (which I really really don’t want)?

    Sorry, I know this was a lot but I just needed somewhere to get everything out.

    Pumpkin 
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    And besides, I just saw my GP not even 2 weeks ago and told them I was fine, would they even believe me if I went back and said everything had taken a bad turn since then? 
  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey there pumpkinpie.

    First of all I'd say don't be too hard on yourself for having a rough time lately, everyone's mental health is constantly changing and it's impossible to tell what might change in the future. That being said I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment, it's been a few days since you posted so are you feeling any different now?

    As for going to see your GP I think that's a good idea since they can offer a lot of different options that you might find helpful and there's no pressure to go onto medication if you don't want to. As I said mental health is unpredictable and every doctor knows that so even if you were fine a few weeks ago there's nothing wrong with needing to go back and explain that you're feeling worse. :)

    You also mentioned that you don't feel like you've talked about what you're going through in your counselling sessions lately, have you tried talking to your counsellor about this to see what they say? Another option might be to try and talk to someone in your life or maybe even a helpline just so you feel you can get everything off your chest.

    I hope this helps.

    - Riley
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Hey and thanks @Riley,

    I’m feeling quite a bit better thanks, the voice in my head isn’t as strong and I’m able to try to fight it again (which I can’t when I’m feeling low.) I’m also not as tense and argumentative as I was, but still taking everything slowly and trying to relax. 

    I’ve seen my counsellor since my last post and discussed with them that I feel like I should be doing more rather than mainly talking, so they gave me the next part of a task I started ages ago and said they’d look into others. I didn’t go back to see my GP since I wasn’t really thinking straight in terms of other things they could do to help. 

    I do have a few friends I can talk to because they understand but they have their own problems and lives and I don’t like to feel like I’m burdening them with my issues all the time. Plus, most of them are on holiday right now anyway so I’d feel rude to bother them.

    My mum suggested trying an alternative therapy like acupuncture as well as counselling, but I have no idea if that would even help, and I said I was happy with counselling right now.

    Thanks again.

    Pumpkin 
  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Great to hear that you're feeling better pumpkinpie, taking everything slowly sounds like the right move for sure so I hope doing that helps. It's fine if you don't want to talk to your friends at the moment that's just something you can keep in mind for the future. :)

    Be sure to keep us all updated on how you're doing and if there's anything us on the boards can do to help just let us know!

    - Riley
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • pumpkinpiepumpkinpie Posts: 129 The Mix Convert
    Thanks @Riley
Sign In or Register to comment.