Struggling to make friends
I recently got in a relationship with someone else, he's always very busy, he's in a band so spends a lot of time with the other members, sometimes for days at a time. The problem that I'm having now is that while he's away, because I don't really speak to or see anyone other than him, I really can't deal with being without him for more than a few days at a time. The days where he's gone, I don't leave my house, barely even my room. I hardly talk to anyone and it's insanely lonely. When he's with his friends and I know he's having fun I can't help but feel incredibly jealous and left out. I'm glad he's enjoying himself but it makes me feel awful knowing I'm at home barely making it through each day and I'm so tired of feeling like this every time he's gone. I want to feel ok but my anxiety really plays up at times like this and it never helps the situation.
I know that I need to put myself out there, I know I need to try and make more friends in my area so I'm not alone and don't rely fully on him anymore. But the thought of going out to meet people really puts me off and even though I really want to do it, I also sort of don't. I find it incredibly difficult and exhausting talking to people, my social skills aren't that good, I'm really shy and can never seem to connect with anyone in the fear that they'll either leave or judge me. It's been the same my whole life.
Something needs to change, I can't go the rest of my life not having a friend.
I apologise in advance if this doesn't quite make sense, or what I'm trying to say doesn't get across too well.