Fallen for someone I hardly knew but struggling
So last September I was at college and went to the park. A girl in my class was being sexually harassed by two older men. I stepped in and told them to leave her alone. Asked her if she was ok and then we went back to class. I walked home that night and the two men followed me and raped me.
I went though all the gender shit of guys can't be raped and everything but they are now are now serving a 10 year sentence due to the rape past history of sexual offences.
The girl they harassed was obviously involved with the case.
I'm still in counselling (non NHS) and am on the NHS list too so yeah.
Anyway me and the girl in my class have become quite close considering I never actually knew her. She was just a girl in my class. She asked me out last month and I have said yes. But I'm still struggling with physical contact. I don't mean to but I can't help it we go for a hug and sometimes it just sends me straight back. She said it's ok but I feel it's un fair on her really. Her dad didn't know what had happened and didn't particularly like me at first as he thought I was too much of a wimp and although this was before he knew what happened and the fact he said I probably stopped it from happening to his daughter (his words exactly) it's still hurts a bit that he called me too wimpy and I presume he thinks like that because I get uncomfortable with physical contact.
I'm I being fair to my girlfriend?? I don't want her to feel like I don't like her because although I didn't even know anything about her back then I love her now.
I also don't want to drag her down with me. I know she was a bit jittery after the harassment for a few weeks it really shook her up.
It just doesn't seem fair to her, I feel as if shes my protector when I want to be her protector. what would you guys do?