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Eating better

LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
despite the fact it's silly i've had a fear of choking since i was about 9 years old and ever since i've half heartedly managed to get by food wise but there have been rough patches where i've gotten a little too thin. i've wanted help with it ever since but nobody will and now i'm 16 going on 17 i know that i won't get help, i've been trying to cope better but at the moment i've hit another tough time. i have instant egg noodles for lunch, occasionally a soup in the afternoon, a protein shake you make with milk for dinner, and warm milk with cinnamon before bed to hold off hunger. i'm relying heavily on hot chocolates, fruit pouches, and chocolate soy yogurts to trick me into thinking i'm full, and i'm honestly sick of it, i really want to get a hold of it especially for when i start college this year but i just doubt i ever will x

🌈Positive thoughts🌈

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

"Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

"I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Heey Lane

    This sounds like it could be a real struggle. Maybe trying to recongnise when you feel able to eat more and sometimes not. Like is it because other people being around. And to try relaxation methods to relax your mind aand muscles.

    Is a physical problem too?. Like what happens if you try to eat solid foods - do you manage to eat it? I ask that because i have a massive fear of taking pills when I'm not distressed and i physically cant swallow one. Anxiety can tenses your muscles. And then that would probably just mean your more likely to choke on your food.

    It's great that you're trying to eat more. Maybe just slowly eat more each time. And coming to terms with that its it's unlikely you'll be choking on it.

    I dont think your age would stop you getting yhe help. Especially if your losing weight fast. And if you want to gain weight and get better ? Or is it more than just the fear of choking because you put - you trick your self into thinking your full?

    Knowing that it's just a fear and wont happen is a great start. Because my fear of taking pills is really bad cause I end up believing one pill will make me sick at the time.

    BEAT may be of some help ? Sorry if I've completely miss understood or had no help.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Thanks very much Shaunie!
    I find it much more relaxing when people are around so they can give me the Heimlich or call ambulance, I physically can't eat if I'm alone, I do distract myself by watching something whole eating which helps with the thought's but trying new things is very hard, I do get physical choking sensations either because of my anxiety or because of my silent reflux which definitely doesn't help. Its more that I've seeked help 4 times and they haven't helped me with it, I'm not the happiest with my weight but I know its just chubbiness that needs toning up and its mainly my (pardon my tmi) my breasts. I'm only just the right weight ad I used to be under, I just trick myself into feeling full so I don't have to deal with hunger pains x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Ah that makes sense.
    Distractions sounds like a good help. Have you tried eating really slowly. I know it's not the same but i get told to do things like put the pill in my mouth for a while then I realise it's not harming me yet & so my throat would feel less tight and can swallow it more easier & less likely to gag or whatever. Maybe could try that with some hard food like sweets? Or/to healthier foods And just not rush it because aderaline/forcing it - probably makes it worse.


    That's really shit-sorry to hear you haven't got any help. Must be something really bothering you to try four times:( therapy would help and even more so (im guessjng) something happened when you was 9 to cause the fear? Or finding the reason why you started fearing it so much could help. Being so anxious/fearful is horrible and losing weight & not eating can cause many health problems so i hope you get out the rough patch soon! x
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Thanks very much Shaunie i do really appreciate it x i feel like sometimes people shrug it off because its a "silly fear to have" i've never full blown choked but i have had many of those incidences where food goes down really slowly if you get what i mean? which could of caused it x
    i've moved onto 2 protein shakes a day now and i'm managing soup again so hopefully i'll get there one day :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,285 Part of The Furniture
    How are things at the moment, Lane? I didn't see this thread tucked away here. Need to be more watchful. :p
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hey Mike! things are basically the same, still eating once maybe twice a day, my dinner being a protein shake. :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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